gonna lose it!

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!


OMGosh, I am going CRAZY! Kai is driving me to the deep end. I just don't know what to do with him. He REFUSES to listen to me, and he doesn't behave. He is CONSTANTLY doing something else….


So far he has shoved Bryn, has dumped out all the markers/pencil crayons, pushed over my planter box, poked his fork into my window screen (his USED fork…he was sitting outside eating lunch), sctached Bryn, taken Abi's things, cut up some of my cardstock, painted the chair (good thing it's just acrylic paint and washable)………..I have yelled at him, conjoled him, spanked him, put him in for two Time Outs and now I'm just giving up. This ALWAYS happens.


I have asked him to clean up his mess…he didn't…. I have asked him to take off his shoes …. he hasn't….. Right now, he is in a poopy pull up (and it's obviously stinky) and yet he will NOT change. Not only will he not acknowledge it, but he won't even help me out. He wants me to do it all….take off his shoes, his pants, clean him, get him dressed again. But I figure he is 3 1/2 so I shouldn't have to do all that. So I told him to at least take off his shoes…of course, he hasn't. ….


When I went down to switch over the laundry, Abi came crying to me that Kai had bit (biten (yes BITTEN) Abi "for no reason"…so I sent him to his room….. Bryn was playing in there, so of course, I hear some screeching from him and then he comes crawling out and he's covered in marker on his back!!!!!


I am SERIOUSLY going to lose it today with him. I have had to stop myself from hitting him several times. I just do not know what to do for him. How do I get him to listen? to obey? to be respectful? to show kindness and love to his siblings?


I seriously need help.

***************************

It has been several hours since I first wrote that, and now I am here to finish this after a nice bath. I love long hot baths; they're relaxing. I love reading in the bathtub too (usually scrapbooking magazines for ideas) and find that I get out all rejuvinated and full of ideas.

An hour or so after I had typed the above part, I had put Kai into yet ANOTHER Time Out. And again he had come out on his own, not caring, not noticing, without any worry. And yet again I was too defeated to do anything about it. Kai does this EVERY day, this is not something that happens occassionally. However, Kai is also my Sweet Monkey, and I love him dearly. He causes Great Consternation for me, but it all gets wiped away in an instant when he acts sweet…or when I have a nap, lol! I would never never never want my Boy to go away or to cause harm on him. But he sure does test me. *sigh* And I keep losing, don't I?

When Jonathan came home, he had a talk with Kai, but it didn't seem to change anything. Within 10 minutes, Kai was in trouble again. He got angry about something a friend did, I can't even remember what it was, but Kai picked up one of my cooling racks for baking (which he had pulled out of the kitchen and dragged around the living room for no reason) and threw it!!! I was shocked! Jonathan had enough! He took a hold of Kai, gave his bare bum a quick smack (since he had pulled off his pullup and refused to put on another) and sent him to his room! ARRRGH!!!! What was WRONG with this boy today???? Kai cried and whined about being punished, but we were two tired parents and just could not deal with him any longer. Actually, I remember thinking a thought when I was SOOO angry with him. I remember thinking, "I can understand why some parents beat…" and then I stopped. I can UNDERSTAND??? AM I SERIOUS??? I couldn't even finish my own sentance b/c I suddenly realized just what I was saying, and it horrified me. I can't understand why parents beat their children! I can't sympathize with those who lose control and can't handle their temper! What am I saying??? And then I felt God speak to me….. 'that's what you're doing. You're losing control. You're not keeping your temper in check.' And it was a strange feeling. Convicted.

Jonathan and I were talking over dinner (by then, Abi had run over to the neighbours to play and Kai had fallen asleep during his Time Out, and Bryn was eating himself to sleep in his highchair!) and we were saying how Kai's anger and frustration is a problem and we didn't know how to deal with it. But then we both recognized how WE ourselves struggle with the same things. I am certainly NOT patient! And I don't handle my temper very well when I've "had enough!" Jonathan is the same way. No wonder our children have tantrums—-they've likely seen US have them!!!!!

So I'm in the bathtub tonight reading a book called "A Love Worth Giving" by Max Lucado. I've never read his books, but I know that he's a great writer. (I have read his children's stories though to my kids!) I actually bought this book when it came out through Crossings Book Club, thinking that it may make a good gift for someone! Well, I found it on my dusty bookshelf and decided to read it this week. Guess what I read about tonight? … I'm sure you must have a clue: Anger!!! (think God is still trying to tell me something???)

In this chapter ("the headwaters of anger" chapter 8), Max Lucado was saying how anger and rejection go hand in hand, how when we feel rejected, we start to feel angry, and that is the first step to a fire. His first example was of Cain and Abel. The brothers in Genesis. One a farmer, one a hunter, both at their alters offering to God. But Cain was rejected by God b/c he was disobedient in his offering, so he became angry, which is why he killed Abel. As I was reading this (and the other good examples) I was wondering how this connected with me, and it struck me how *I* felt rejected by Kai when he didn't respond to me, when he was disobedient, when he was outright naughty. That's why I was so angry…..not that I didn't have a reason to be. Not that I should've just thought, "oh well, there he goes again! I'm not going to let it bother me!" But I recognize how MY response wasn't correct. My anger was not only lashed out on Kai, but also on Abi, and she was such a wonderful girl today. She was well-behaved and polite (mostly…when she wasn't egging on Kai, lol) and I was short with her and frustrated and impolite in my response to her, and that's just as tragic.

Max Lucado goes on to add the kickers…."If rejection causes anger, wouldn't acceptance cure it?" I had to read that one a couple of times. H'mm… Acceptance? What exactly does that mean? When we accept Christ and His gift, we not only become different, but we are accepted and viewed differently too. "When God looks at you, he doesn't see you; he sees Jesus.."

"He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 NKJV

The other kicker? "You can not keep people from rejecting you. But you can keep rejections from enraging you."

So what is the point of this added part? The reason I got out of the tub and had to get onto the computer at 11:30pm? To be honest, I'm not too sure. I just know that God is speaking to me on my attitude. I have an anger issue. And a selfish one. And a patience one. I have a LOT of issues. Today was a rough day for me. My Boy misbehaved a lot and it was tough, but through it I have been able to really look at myself. I need to curb my own issues as well as tackle my son's. *sigh* It's hard being put in your place, but sometimes it's so necessary.

hilarious eBay auction

There is this eBay auction that has been getting some HUGE attention lately that I felt I should share too. It is well written. As a mother of 3, I can understand what she's talking about….but not to the grande scale she's at! Enjoy:


I'm selling a bunch of Pokemon cards. Why? Because my kids sneaked them into my shopping cart while at the grocery store and I ended up buying them because I didn't notice they were there until we got home. How could I have possibly not noticed they were in my cart, you ask? Let me explain.

You haven’t lived until you’ve gone grocery shopping with six kids in tow. I would rather swim, covered in bait, through the English Channel, be a contestant on Fear Factor when they’re having pig brains for lunch, or do fourth grade math than to take my six kids to the grocery store. Because I absolutely detest grocery shopping, I tend to put it off as long as possible. There comes a time, however, when you’re peering into your fridge and thinking, ‘Hmmm, what can I make with ketchup, Italian dressing, and half an onion,’ that you decide you cannot avoid going to the grocery store any longer. Before beginning this most treacherous mission, I gather all the kids together and give them “The Lecture“.

“The Lecture“ goes like this…

MOM: “We have to go to the grocery store.”

KIDS: “Whine whine whine whine whine.“

MOM: “Hey, I don’t want to go either, but it’s either that or we’re eating cream of onion-ketchup soup and drinking Italian dressing for dinner tonight.”

KIDS: “Whine whine whine whine whine.“

MOM: “Now here are the rules: do not ask me for anything, do not poke the packages of meat in the butcher section, do not test the laws of physics and try to take out the bottom can in the pyramid shaped display, do not play baseball with oranges in the produce section, and most importantly, do not try to leave your brother at the store. Again.”

OK, the kids have been briefed. Time to go.

Once at the store, we grab not one, but two shopping carts. I wear the baby in a sling and the two little children sit in the carts while I push one cart and my oldest son pushes the other one. My oldest daughter is not allowed to push a cart. Ever. Why? Because the last time I let her push the cart, she smashed into my ankles so many times, my feet had to be amputated by the end of our shopping trip. This is not a good thing. You try running after a toddler with no feet sometime.

At this point, a woman looks at our two carts and asks me, “Are they all yours?” I answer good naturedly, “Yep!

“Oh my, you have your hands full.”

“Yes, I do, but it‘s fun!” I say smiling. I’ve heard all this before. In fact, I hear it every time I go anywhere with my brood.

We begin in the produce section where all these wonderfully, artistically arranged pyramids of fruit stand. There is something so irresistibly appealing about the apple on the bottom of the pile, that a child cannot help but try to touch it. Much like a bug to a zapper, the child is drawn to this piece of fruit. I turn around to the sounds of apples cascading down the display and onto the floor. Like Indiana Jones, there stands my son holding the all-consuming treasure that he just HAD to get and gazing at me with this dumbfounded look as if to say, “Did you see that??? Wow! I never thought that would happen!”

I give the offending child an exasperated sigh and say, “Didn’t I tell you, before we left, that I didn’t want you taking stuff from the bottom of the pile???”

“No. You said that you didn’t want us to take a can from the bottom of the pile. You didn’t say anything about apples.”

With superhuman effort, I resist the urge to send my child to the moon and instead focus on the positive - my child actually listened to me and remembered what I said!!! I make a mental note to be a little more specific the next time I give the kids The Grocery Store Lecture.

A little old man looks at all of us and says, “Are all of those your kids?”

Thinking about the apple incident, I reply, “Nope. They just started following me. I’ve never seen them before in my life.”

OK, now onto the bakery section where everything smells so good, I’m tempted to fill my cart with cookies and call it a day. Being on a perpetual diet, I try to hurry past the assortment of pies, cakes, breads, and pastries that have my children drooling. At this point the chorus of “Can we gets” begins.

“Can we get donuts?”

“No.”

“Can we get cupcakes?”

“No.”

“Can we get muffins?”

“No.”

“Can we get pie?”

“No.”

You’d think they’d catch on by this point, but no, they’re just getting started.

In the bakery, they’re giving away free samples of coffee cake and of course, my kids all take one. The toddler decides he doesn’t like it and proceeds to spit it out in my hand. (That’s what moms do. We put our hands in front of our children’s mouths so they can spit stuff into them. We’d rather carry around a handful of chewed up coffee cake, than to have the child spit it out onto the floor. I’m not sure why this is, but ask any mom and she’ll tell you the same.) Of course, there’s no garbage can around, so I continue shopping one-handed while searching for someplace to dispose of the regurgitated mess in my hand.

In the meat department, a mother with one small baby asks me, “Wow! Are all six yours?”

I answer her, “Yes, but I’m thinking of selling a couple of them.”

(Still searching for a garbage can at this point.)

Ok, after the meat department, my kids’ attention spans are spent. They’re done shopping at this point, but we aren’t even halfway through the store. This is about the time they like to start having shopping cart races. And who may I thank for teaching them this fun pastime? My seventh “child”, also known as my husband. While I’m picking out loaves of bread, the kids are running down the aisle behind the carts in an effort to get us kicked out of the store. I put to stop to that just as my son is about to crash head on into a giant cardboard cut-out of a Keebler elf stacked with packages of cookies.

Ah! Yes! I find a small trash can by the coffee machine in the cereal aisle and finally dump out the squishy contents of my hand. After standing in the cereal aisle for an hour and a half while the kids perused the various cereals, comparing the marshmallow and cheap, plastic toy content of each box, I broke down and let them each pick out a box. At any given time, we have twenty open boxes of cereal in my house.

As this is going on, my toddler is playing Houdini and maneuvering his little body out of the seat belt in an attempt to stand up in the cart. I’m amazed the kid made it to his second birthday without suffering a brain damaging head injury. In between trying to flip himself out of the cart, he sucks on the metal bars of the shopping cart. Mmmm, can you say “influenza”?

The shopping trip continues much like this. I break up fights between the kids now and then and stoop down to pick up items that the toddler has flung out of the cart. I desperately try to get everything on my list without adding too many other goodies to the carts.

Somehow I manage to complete my shopping in under four hours and head for the check-outs where my kids start in on a chorus of, “Can we have candy?” What evil minded person decided it would be a good idea to put a display of candy in the check-out lanes, right at a child’s eye level? Obviously someone who has never been shopping with children.

As I unload the carts, I notice many extra items that my kids have sneaked in the carts unbeknownst to me. I remove a box of Twinkies, a package of cupcakes, a bag of candy, and a can of cat food (we don’t even have a cat!). I somehow missed the box of Pokemon cards however and ended up purchasing them unbeknownst to me. As I pay for my purchases, the clerk looks at me, indicates my kids, and asks, “Are they all yours?”

Frustrated, exhausted from my trip, sick to my stomach from writing out a check for $289.53, dreading unloading all the groceries and putting them away and tired of hearing that question, I look at the clerk and answer her in my most sarcastic voice, “No. They’re not mine. I just go around the neighborhood gathering up kids to take to the grocery store because it’s so much more fun that way.”

So, up for auction is an opened (they ripped open the box on the way home from the store) package of Pokemon cards. There are 44 cards total. They're in perfect condition, as I took them away from the kiddos as soon as we got home from the store. Many of them say "Energy". I tried carrying them around with me, but they didn't work. I definitely didn't have any more energy than usual. One of them is shiny. There are a few creature-like things on many of them. One is called Pupitar. Hee hee hee Pupitar! (Oh no! My kids' sense of humor is rubbing off on me!) Anyway, I don't there's anything special about any of these cards, but I'm very much not an authority on Pokemon cards. I just know that I'm not letting my kids keep these as a reward for their sneakiness.

Shipping is FREE on this item. Insurance is optional, but once I drop the package at the post office, it is no longer my responsibility. For example, if my son decides to pour a bottle of glue into the envelope, or my daughter spills a glass of juice on the package, that’s my responsibility and I will fully refund your money. If, however, I take the envelope to the post office and a disgruntled mail carrier sets fire to it, a pack of wild dogs rip into it, or a mail sorting machine shreds it, it’s out of my hands, so you may want to add insurance. I will leave feedback for you as soon as I’ve received your payment. I will be happy to combine shipping on multiple items won within three days. This comes from a smoke-free, pet-free, child-filled home. Please ask me any questions before placing your bid. Happy bidding!

She ended up getting $142.51 USD for them!!!! LMBO!!! She also has a blog! www.mom2my6pack.blogspot.com

my new favourite

So there's this reality show on tv and I guess it's going to start it's third season that my cousin has inadvertently introduced me to. "So you think you can dance". I've heard of it, but I don't watch much tv, much less any reality tv, it's just not my "thing". How wrong I am!!!! Has anyone else watched this show? Oh My Gosh!!! I spent all day yesterday on You Tube checking out all the dance routines these young dancers did and I am a new "best fan" of the show! …now just to find out when it's on!

My cousin posted two You Tube clips on her FaceBook profile of her fave dances and I must agree with her! This one dance is the Contemporary routine between Lacey & Kameron (from season 3), and OMGoodness! Beautiful!!! (If I could dance–and my heart is still there– I would love to do contemporary. It's so expressive and artistic and free.) The dance has my "new favourite" song on it, or a part of it, that is.

Dancing ~ Elisa
Time is gonna take my mind
and carry it far away where I can fly
The depth of life will dim my temptation to live for you
If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears
'cause it's all about love and I know better
How life is a waving feather

So I put my arms around you around you
And I know that I'll be leaving soon

My eyes are on you they're on you
And you see that I can't stop shaking
No, I won't step back but I'll look down to hide from your eyes
'cause what I feel is so sweet and I'm scared that even my own breath
Oh could burst it if it were a bubble
And I'd better dream if I have to struggle

So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me

I'm dancing in the room as if I was in the woods with you
No need for anything but music
Music's the reason why I know time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists

So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me
So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me


Lacey/Kameron
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxx6auZixKk

Elisa live at the Vatican
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi6_41G63ck

Random Things

I was reading my friend's blog the other day and she made a list up of a bunch of quirky things about her that many people may not know, and I was interested. It wasn't meant to be a Tag, but that's what I'm doing it as! :) It's taken me some time, though, let me tell you, to come up with a list. I keep thinking of all these "important" things about me and realizing everyone knows that, that's so obvious!!! LOL So I had to dig. And I think I have my list done.

1. I wanted to be a "weatherologist" as a teen. Not a weather-girl, but someone who studies weather and the effects on everything. I wanted to storm watch and follow tornadoes, but as I grew, other things became more important to me. Watching storms still fascinates me today though….as well as scares me!

2. I used to be a Hockey Addict and would write down the game info while watching or listening to them. My brother laughed at me when he saw that and told me that they pay people to do that and I could get the info in the paper the next day! It didn't deter me though! ;) I miss hockey and have decided to introduce my children to the fine game…. They can't be Canadian and not like hockey!!!!

3. I have a bizarre phobia of having anything on me. I love ladybugs, but freak out if one lands on me!

4. Licking creeps me out! I can't stand a dog or person licking me. I don't even like watching it happen to anyone else. Gross! {{{shudder}}} NOT "sexy"!!!!

5. I am a stickler for proper spelling. I cringe when I see misspelled words. Don't people have spell check or reread when they've written? Doesn't it bother them? I think it's just me but I can't stand it when I see things intentionally misspelled. Like "KEWL" instead of COOL. Or "Karpet King". ARRRRGH!!!! (just writing that makes me cringe) I don't mind mistakes b/c you're typing fast or you just aren't too sure, but if your prose is littered in mistakes, I can't read it.

6. I can't touch my toes with my fingers if I bend over, but I can stick my toes into my mouth if I wanted to! For some reason, I am proud of that fact! It's nice to know that there's a level of flexability to me despite my midsection!

7. When I was 12, I decided I was going to legally change my name when I was 18. Lori was just Too Boring, and no one could spell it correctly anyways. (sheesh, how hard is it???) I wish I could remember which name I chose, but it's slipped my memory as time went by. I'm glad I stayed with Lori—it's starting to grow on me!!!

8.I want to believe in Faeries. They're beautiful, sparkly, innocent, tiny and magical.

9. I have 4 designs in mind but am too afraid of getting a tattoo. I just can't picture having something inked on me permanently–it's bad enough I have moles!!!

10. I have dramatic conversations in my mind all the time. I see the two characters, their mannerisms, and let them say what their emotions want. I've dealt with a lot of issues and pain that way.

I hope you've found something new about me. Why don't you try it? It's not that easy –but maybe it's just me! Consider yourself Tagged! :)

Happy 34th

Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad!!! It's strange to think it's been 34 years…but then a part of me thinks, wow, only? (in a good way) I am so happy that you're my parents and can not express enough to you both how much you mean to me. You have both taught me so much…some things I would've rather NOT learned (such as how to live with less than everyone else as a kid, lol) but everything has molded me and has helped me grow into the woman I am today. I like to think that's a good thing!

So thank-you, Mom & Dad, for being who you are, for doing the job you did (and as a parent now, I can appreciate how difficult it was!!!), and for continuing to show me examples. I love you dearly.

Much love and many many {{{hugs}}}
xxxxx

Abi's LIKE sooooo big!!!

I got this email from my SIL Jenn last month and meant to share it with you, so I am doing that now. It is just parts of a conversation Abi had with her Auntie and Uncle… too cute!

"K, I have to wonder when Abi became teenager??? I know I went through this stage but I don’t think it was until I was 12 or so. In the car she was going on…

“You should go in our new van, cause, like, it’s super big”

“Mom’s new van can seat, like, 8 people, that’s like enough if we had like 3 more babies”

“you know if we like had 3 more babies we would like need a bigger house but not a bigger van cause it could like hold like 8 babies”…….

Like you know! James and I were both chuckling to ourselves thinking back to the late 80’s.

So like have yourself like a totally awesome night dude!"


LMBO!!!! I don't know where Abi got her newly acquired speech, but I've noticed it too. No more Polly Pocket movies for her!!!! lol She's such a Valley Girl…and she's only FIVE!!!!! Eek!!!! *big cheesy grin*

Interrupted

Without giving away TMI (too much information), my Hunny basically let me know what awaited me tonight after the kids went to sleep. Needless to say, I was intrigued. So when he popped into the bathrom, I snuck in after him for a make-out session straight out of some teen movie! *blush*teehee* I've never done that before, so I was full of giggles!

We were only in there for 5 minutes at most when I hear the most angelic voice of my boy at the door saying, "Hi, Dad!" followed by a giggle. Which made Me giggle! Then snort! Then I heard Kai giggle and say, "Hi, Mom!" That was IT for me. Full out laughs. The "moment" was over! I got out of the bathroom, saying hello to Kai, and let my husband go back to his original plan.

*sigh*
So much for being Silly Teenagers! But what a fun moment! Good thing Kai isn't old enough to understand the reason Mommy and Daddy were in the bathroom together!!!! LMBO!!! It's good to be silly again! *wink*