Saturday, June 15, 2013
Bryn lost his first tooth this week! Woohoo!!! I may have made a big deal out of too! I couldn't help it...he missed out on losing his top teeth when he had to have them pulled when he was a toddler (after trying to bite his brother in the head, ahem!) so I wanted to make it into something exciting! This bottom one had been wiggly for a good two weeks or so, but finally, I was just dangling by a thread! He could push it and pull it, but it still clung to his gums with every last strand! I was urging B to just yank it, but he was too nervous! He had a hard time eating dinner due to his nerves distracting him! (he has been avoiding apples all this time too!)
But, finally, an hour after dinner, he comes and shows me that his tooth came out! All on it's own!!! :) He was proud of himself then and had a smile for me!
I reminded him that he needed to put the tooth under his pillow for the Tooth Fairy, which he happily did. He even showed me where he put it, explaining that it would be easier for her to get it out! (I don't think he's on to me yet, though! LOL)
Would you believe that despite my reminder to the, ahem, Tooth Fairy that night, she still forgot??? I felt so embarrassed for her when B told me that the tooth was still there! Horrors! I suggested that she must've had a lot of houses to go to last night and ran out of time. But sheesh! This Tooth Fairy of ours isn't the most punctual. And I'm not too ashamed to say it that I think she needs a good talkin' to! She needs to get her butt into gear as she's bringing down the good name of the revered Tooth Fairy! Sheesh!
She did remember the next night though, and paid a good ransom for that first baby tooth: a whole toonie and loonie! ($3) Bryn was quite excited the next morning!!!
On the footsteps of B's great tooth loss...we have another one to prepare for: Eden's first teeth! Yep. *sigh* Another child of mine gets to go through that rite of passage (that seems to happen in my family alone) where they lose their front teeth years before most children! :( B lost his, and then Rhys had his own incident and lost his, and now E can join the club! Woohoo. :(
I was already worried about her teeth and had mentioned them to the dentist because they were discoloured. He said just to keep an eye on them and use a floride toothpaste, which we did. But then Eden met the floor in a personal way. :( She and Abi were roughhousing and playing on the couches, when Eden rolled over too far and fell off and smuck her face on the floor. Abi felt terrible! As soon as I saw her bloody mouth, I just knew. And my heart sank. And I shed a few tears when I saw her front tooth all jagged. It was bad enough that she had somehow chipped her left front tooth months earlier (we don't know how or when either) but now the right now looked scary! I was freaking out (but covering it up as good as I could) that she had snapped her tooth right off!!! Of course, this happens at 5pm on Friday just before a Long Weekend. They always happen at that time, don't they? So I couldn't call the dentist and I couldn't take her in. My option was to either wait it out or go to the ER, something I did not want to do. So what did I do? I decided to look up on Dr. Google for advice! :) After reading a few articles, I felt better that I was not the first parent to have this happen to their toddler (phew) and I was offered the possibility that it may not actually be snapped off. In the end, I decided that I needed to call the after-hours emergency line for our pediatric dentist (even though I knew it wasn't necessarily an emergency. I just needed some reassurance!) And even the dentist suggested that it was likely just her tooth being pushed up into her gums (which is what happened to B), which meant that we may not need to do any intervention. I was clinging to that hope as strong as I could! She told me to call and get her in to see our dr on Tuesday when they opened again.
We just had three days to go through to get to that appointment. Three long days. With an active toddler. Who likes to climb, and run and escape and chase her siblings. Right. It should be easy. Of course, the poor girl had a few more falls (she's clumsy. and a toddler. poor thing doesn't stand a chance!) and more chips were taken out. Any time something hit her mouth, she cried and screamed. :( Oh, it broke my heart.
At her appointment in to see the awesome Dr. Geoff (goodness, this man is great. He literally GUSHES over his patients! "Look at you! You're a Super Star!" "When I saw it was YOU coming in today, I was so happy!" I'm sure many a mother's heart swoons for him just for that. I know I feel all soft with his pearly white grin!) sadly, my worst fears came true. My original thought of her snapping her tooth was true, it wasn't a simple case of her tooth being pushed into her gums. *deepbreath* Unfortunately there isn't anything they can do for it except pull them out! (the second one has to come out too since it was also chipped and damaged) I admit it: I cried a bit.
My poor little girl with the messed up smile. :( My heart breaks and feels heavy. I feel like it was my fault. I wasn't brushing her teeth often enough. I didn't force her to drink more water. I should've been stronger. I shouldn't have let her have so many snacks. *sigh* It's one thing to have a son lose his front teeth, but it's completely different when it's a girl and she's the third in a row to have this happen!!! :( How did I mess up these Youngers so much? The Olders didn't have this many problems!!!! :(
In a few weeks, Eden will go under sedation and have dental surgery done. I'm trying not to think about it. Right now, I'm just praying we can make it to our appointment. The dentist said (very sympathetically too) that if she develops an infection or has more damage before her apt, we will have to do it in an emergency, which means doing it in the office with just freezing and us holding her down! I do NOT want to do that! (even if it will be so much cheaper!) I told Hunny that if it comes to that, he's the one taking her in! I can't hold down another child for a proceedure; I've done it with Rhys and his blood work and it's stressful!
My poor girl. :(
But, finally, an hour after dinner, he comes and shows me that his tooth came out! All on it's own!!! :) He was proud of himself then and had a smile for me!
I reminded him that he needed to put the tooth under his pillow for the Tooth Fairy, which he happily did. He even showed me where he put it, explaining that it would be easier for her to get it out! (I don't think he's on to me yet, though! LOL)
Would you believe that despite my reminder to the, ahem, Tooth Fairy that night, she still forgot??? I felt so embarrassed for her when B told me that the tooth was still there! Horrors! I suggested that she must've had a lot of houses to go to last night and ran out of time. But sheesh! This Tooth Fairy of ours isn't the most punctual. And I'm not too ashamed to say it that I think she needs a good talkin' to! She needs to get her butt into gear as she's bringing down the good name of the revered Tooth Fairy! Sheesh!
She did remember the next night though, and paid a good ransom for that first baby tooth: a whole toonie and loonie! ($3) Bryn was quite excited the next morning!!!
On the footsteps of B's great tooth loss...we have another one to prepare for: Eden's first teeth! Yep. *sigh* Another child of mine gets to go through that rite of passage (that seems to happen in my family alone) where they lose their front teeth years before most children! :( B lost his, and then Rhys had his own incident and lost his, and now E can join the club! Woohoo. :(
I was already worried about her teeth and had mentioned them to the dentist because they were discoloured. He said just to keep an eye on them and use a floride toothpaste, which we did. But then Eden met the floor in a personal way. :( She and Abi were roughhousing and playing on the couches, when Eden rolled over too far and fell off and smuck her face on the floor. Abi felt terrible! As soon as I saw her bloody mouth, I just knew. And my heart sank. And I shed a few tears when I saw her front tooth all jagged. It was bad enough that she had somehow chipped her left front tooth months earlier (we don't know how or when either) but now the right now looked scary! I was freaking out (but covering it up as good as I could) that she had snapped her tooth right off!!! Of course, this happens at 5pm on Friday just before a Long Weekend. They always happen at that time, don't they? So I couldn't call the dentist and I couldn't take her in. My option was to either wait it out or go to the ER, something I did not want to do. So what did I do? I decided to look up on Dr. Google for advice! :) After reading a few articles, I felt better that I was not the first parent to have this happen to their toddler (phew) and I was offered the possibility that it may not actually be snapped off. In the end, I decided that I needed to call the after-hours emergency line for our pediatric dentist (even though I knew it wasn't necessarily an emergency. I just needed some reassurance!) And even the dentist suggested that it was likely just her tooth being pushed up into her gums (which is what happened to B), which meant that we may not need to do any intervention. I was clinging to that hope as strong as I could! She told me to call and get her in to see our dr on Tuesday when they opened again.
We just had three days to go through to get to that appointment. Three long days. With an active toddler. Who likes to climb, and run and escape and chase her siblings. Right. It should be easy. Of course, the poor girl had a few more falls (she's clumsy. and a toddler. poor thing doesn't stand a chance!) and more chips were taken out. Any time something hit her mouth, she cried and screamed. :( Oh, it broke my heart.
At her appointment in to see the awesome Dr. Geoff (goodness, this man is great. He literally GUSHES over his patients! "Look at you! You're a Super Star!" "When I saw it was YOU coming in today, I was so happy!" I'm sure many a mother's heart swoons for him just for that. I know I feel all soft with his pearly white grin!) sadly, my worst fears came true. My original thought of her snapping her tooth was true, it wasn't a simple case of her tooth being pushed into her gums. *deepbreath* Unfortunately there isn't anything they can do for it except pull them out! (the second one has to come out too since it was also chipped and damaged) I admit it: I cried a bit.
My poor little girl with the messed up smile. :( My heart breaks and feels heavy. I feel like it was my fault. I wasn't brushing her teeth often enough. I didn't force her to drink more water. I should've been stronger. I shouldn't have let her have so many snacks. *sigh* It's one thing to have a son lose his front teeth, but it's completely different when it's a girl and she's the third in a row to have this happen!!! :( How did I mess up these Youngers so much? The Olders didn't have this many problems!!!! :(
In a few weeks, Eden will go under sedation and have dental surgery done. I'm trying not to think about it. Right now, I'm just praying we can make it to our appointment. The dentist said (very sympathetically too) that if she develops an infection or has more damage before her apt, we will have to do it in an emergency, which means doing it in the office with just freezing and us holding her down! I do NOT want to do that! (even if it will be so much cheaper!) I told Hunny that if it comes to that, he's the one taking her in! I can't hold down another child for a proceedure; I've done it with Rhys and his blood work and it's stressful!
My poor girl. :(
Rhys got distracted a bit by a puddle when it was time to go get the Olders from school. I found him in the driveway where Hunny parks his JEEP, stirring a big puddle with some toy he found. He told me he was making soup! (soup really is one of his favourite foods, so I'm not surprised!)
Then he added grass. Can't miss out on having your greens!
I couldn't help snapping some pictures of him. I don't think I've ever seen him do this before! His imagination is starting to grow! Yay!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Rhys turns 5 in two weeks. It's hard to believe! FIVE! He is growing taller and less baby-like and I can see him getting more lanky! I figure that out of all the kids, he is the one that will look like his Grandpa Jack the most! (that is Hunny's father, who died of a very aggressive colon cancer 2 months after his diagnosis just 6 months after Hunny & I got married. It was sudden and shocking and left us not really knowing how to deal with it. :( Kai is named after him. But I think it is Rhys that will resemble him the most with his tall, very skinny, body!) It's sad and bittersweet to see Rhys grow up physically. I don't want him to get too big for me to snuggle with! I get sad at thinking that one day he will be too heavy for me to carry, and too long! (he's almost getting too long now!!) *sigh* But I am also looking forward to seeing him grow and learn new things and expand his surroundings.
Five is the typical age that kids start kindergarten. Well, that is, both Abi & Kai are Autumn/Winter babies and so they started K when they were four-and-a-half. Yes, they were young, and their wonderful teacher (whom I still love dearly!) would remind us whenever it seemed as though they weren't as "quick" as the other kids, but by the end of the year, they had caught up just fine! I don't regret it; they really were ready for school when they went. Bryn turned 5 the summer before school began and he was ready too, and there wasn't any doubt that he'd do just fine! But Rhys.... oh Rhys. He is not ready. I've been in turmoil all year over this, weighing options, praying for solutions, seeking advice, and even after I've made up my mind, I still worry if it was the "right" one!
When other five year olds enter Kindergarten for the first time this Fall, (and I know many friends with newly five-year-olds) Rhys will instead be entering his first year of Pre-school. And I'm okay with that. But I'm also not.
It's hard when you know that your child is not ready, is lacking in a few areas, and would benefit from being held back. It makes your heart ache because all you can see is how he's "missing out." Not that Rhys knows that he is, and that makes it a bit better, and yet it's still sad for me. :(
My son is delayed, and I've known for a long long time, but I'm now being forced to recognize it. It was easy to just tell ourselves that "he'll catch up one day!" or "he has older siblings to do it for him!" or "boys are slower!" or even "his older brothers were a bit delayed as well!" as if the excuses would somehow make it true. But it wasn't and all these excuses didn't help at all! He is still delayed. He didn't "catch up", after all. It was so easy for me to just shrug it off, ignore it, I mean the excuses were easy to give and I was surrounded by others who weren't concerned, so why should I let it bother me?
But it did. Deep down, I've always known. There is something in my Mommy Gut that tingles. (and not my gall stones, ugh! lol!) Something that's "not right". Something I can't quite explain or put my finger on. And it's so frustrating! He's being seen by our old (crazy) pediatrician (more on that in a later blog post, there is so much to say) right now and she is investigating some ideas, so that's a start, but it is a slow process. Now that we have a doctor who is concerned also, I have been going back on old information on him, tests that he took as a toddler, even past posts and I see this has always been the case. And that actually shocked me! I had somehow convinced myself that maybe it wasn't that bad. But he's been delayed from the beginning! And that weighs me down with sorrow and guilt! Should I have been more pushy? Why didn't I mention anything to my doctor? Why didn't Michele at IDP say anything if it was a concern? How did this slip past us? :( I can't change what was or wasn't done when he was younger, but the worries I carry now for his future hang on me. Words like Special Needs.....Mentally Retarded.....Genetics.....they all whisper in my mind. Something isn't "right". But what?????
This afternoon, he surprised me, though. He actually held an imaginary conversation with his LEGO minifigs (or should I say, Kai's minifigs, since he keeps stealing them off of his bunkbed!), and he did imaginary play with a stuffed pig (he asked me to get a drink for him and the pig, but I stopped at making Piggie his own sandwich and said R could share his like a good friend!)! That was so exciting for me to overhear! And today, he actually counted!!! All the way from 1 to 6! On his own! Yay! I can't get him to do it when I asked though; whenever I ask, he acts like he doesn't understand and will only repeat the numbers after me, so I really don't know how high he can count, but he did it up to #6! And then I heard him count backwards from 4! That made me so happy! He is learning! There is so much that he can't seem to do, but I don't know how much of it is real disability or lack of confidence or just not applying himself because he has never really had to. :/ It's difficult to tell with him.
Last year at this time, he was terrified to go to school, and he carried that fear all the way up until a few months ago! I was so worried he'd never actually want to go, but I am happy to say that he is excited about it now! I've been building up the enthousiasm, excitedly telling him of all the things he'd be doing (painting! playing! listening to stories! singing songs!) He'll attend where Bryn went, at Learning Blocks Preschool at the Olders' school. (B's old teacher isn't there anymore though, which is sad, but I'm sure these other teachers are awesome!) We've popped into the classroom twice already after dropping B off at his classroom, and Rhys has been excited and one of the teachers said 'hi' and made him feel welcome. She invited us to go inside the classroom while the other children were still playing, but I didn't want to disrupt the class....or get him too involved so it would be harder for us to leave. But this is a start!
After this morning, when Rhys seemed like a "normal" kid, I started to have doubts with keeping him back from Kindergarten! But I then reminded myself with the concerns we have and I feel pretty sure that this is the right step. There is nothing glaringly obvious about Rhys that tells us he has issues, and that's tough. It's a relief, but it's hard to know what to do. Is he just immature and will outgrow this? Or is there something more? Like I mentioned, I've been going over all his past records for some sort of clue and I can see how he's been delayed, but I also see how none of us were worried back then. You must remember a few posts ago, dated two years back, where at 40 months old (3.5 yrs), he was only developing at a 30-36ms range...stuff like that. When I wasn't really surprised at how far behind he was, but I also wasn't nervous over it and thought he'd "get it" one day. *sigh* How foolish of me.
The hardest part about this whole thing has got to be that I don't know what it is that's causing it. I want a name. I want a diagnosis. I want some clarity. I want to know what to do, how to help him! :(
Five is the typical age that kids start kindergarten. Well, that is, both Abi & Kai are Autumn/Winter babies and so they started K when they were four-and-a-half. Yes, they were young, and their wonderful teacher (whom I still love dearly!) would remind us whenever it seemed as though they weren't as "quick" as the other kids, but by the end of the year, they had caught up just fine! I don't regret it; they really were ready for school when they went. Bryn turned 5 the summer before school began and he was ready too, and there wasn't any doubt that he'd do just fine! But Rhys.... oh Rhys. He is not ready. I've been in turmoil all year over this, weighing options, praying for solutions, seeking advice, and even after I've made up my mind, I still worry if it was the "right" one!
When other five year olds enter Kindergarten for the first time this Fall, (and I know many friends with newly five-year-olds) Rhys will instead be entering his first year of Pre-school. And I'm okay with that. But I'm also not.
It's hard when you know that your child is not ready, is lacking in a few areas, and would benefit from being held back. It makes your heart ache because all you can see is how he's "missing out." Not that Rhys knows that he is, and that makes it a bit better, and yet it's still sad for me. :(
My son is delayed, and I've known for a long long time, but I'm now being forced to recognize it. It was easy to just tell ourselves that "he'll catch up one day!" or "he has older siblings to do it for him!" or "boys are slower!" or even "his older brothers were a bit delayed as well!" as if the excuses would somehow make it true. But it wasn't and all these excuses didn't help at all! He is still delayed. He didn't "catch up", after all. It was so easy for me to just shrug it off, ignore it, I mean the excuses were easy to give and I was surrounded by others who weren't concerned, so why should I let it bother me?
But it did. Deep down, I've always known. There is something in my Mommy Gut that tingles. (and not my gall stones, ugh! lol!) Something that's "not right". Something I can't quite explain or put my finger on. And it's so frustrating! He's being seen by our old (crazy) pediatrician (more on that in a later blog post, there is so much to say) right now and she is investigating some ideas, so that's a start, but it is a slow process. Now that we have a doctor who is concerned also, I have been going back on old information on him, tests that he took as a toddler, even past posts and I see this has always been the case. And that actually shocked me! I had somehow convinced myself that maybe it wasn't that bad. But he's been delayed from the beginning! And that weighs me down with sorrow and guilt! Should I have been more pushy? Why didn't I mention anything to my doctor? Why didn't Michele at IDP say anything if it was a concern? How did this slip past us? :( I can't change what was or wasn't done when he was younger, but the worries I carry now for his future hang on me. Words like Special Needs.....Mentally Retarded.....Genetics.....they all whisper in my mind. Something isn't "right". But what?????
This afternoon, he surprised me, though. He actually held an imaginary conversation with his LEGO minifigs (or should I say, Kai's minifigs, since he keeps stealing them off of his bunkbed!), and he did imaginary play with a stuffed pig (he asked me to get a drink for him and the pig, but I stopped at making Piggie his own sandwich and said R could share his like a good friend!)! That was so exciting for me to overhear! And today, he actually counted!!! All the way from 1 to 6! On his own! Yay! I can't get him to do it when I asked though; whenever I ask, he acts like he doesn't understand and will only repeat the numbers after me, so I really don't know how high he can count, but he did it up to #6! And then I heard him count backwards from 4! That made me so happy! He is learning! There is so much that he can't seem to do, but I don't know how much of it is real disability or lack of confidence or just not applying himself because he has never really had to. :/ It's difficult to tell with him.
Last year at this time, he was terrified to go to school, and he carried that fear all the way up until a few months ago! I was so worried he'd never actually want to go, but I am happy to say that he is excited about it now! I've been building up the enthousiasm, excitedly telling him of all the things he'd be doing (painting! playing! listening to stories! singing songs!) He'll attend where Bryn went, at Learning Blocks Preschool at the Olders' school. (B's old teacher isn't there anymore though, which is sad, but I'm sure these other teachers are awesome!) We've popped into the classroom twice already after dropping B off at his classroom, and Rhys has been excited and one of the teachers said 'hi' and made him feel welcome. She invited us to go inside the classroom while the other children were still playing, but I didn't want to disrupt the class....or get him too involved so it would be harder for us to leave. But this is a start!
After this morning, when Rhys seemed like a "normal" kid, I started to have doubts with keeping him back from Kindergarten! But I then reminded myself with the concerns we have and I feel pretty sure that this is the right step. There is nothing glaringly obvious about Rhys that tells us he has issues, and that's tough. It's a relief, but it's hard to know what to do. Is he just immature and will outgrow this? Or is there something more? Like I mentioned, I've been going over all his past records for some sort of clue and I can see how he's been delayed, but I also see how none of us were worried back then. You must remember a few posts ago, dated two years back, where at 40 months old (3.5 yrs), he was only developing at a 30-36ms range...stuff like that. When I wasn't really surprised at how far behind he was, but I also wasn't nervous over it and thought he'd "get it" one day. *sigh* How foolish of me.
The hardest part about this whole thing has got to be that I don't know what it is that's causing it. I want a name. I want a diagnosis. I want some clarity. I want to know what to do, how to help him! :(
Thursday, May 30, 2013
This afternoon, I had to call Kai's cardiologist to make an appointment for his annual heart checkup. I have been meaning to do this all month and now this month is almost all used up! The appointment isn't a huge deal, as it is just the usual: an ECG and an echocardiogram. The doctor will come see us and tell us there isn't much change (at least, I hope so!) and that he may keep his medicine doses the same or he may decide to do another test on him for more information, but so far nothing has given us much at all. His official diagnosis still stands as Left Ventricle Asymptomatic Cardiomyopathy. We don't know when he got it or even how, but the doctor thinks it's likely from a virus he has as a baby and that we didn't even notice. (how can a virus so unnoticeable to anyone outwardly be so damaging inwardly? how could we not see he was ill? I'll never understand.) But this happened early in his first year, for he stopped gaining weight at 9 months old and the doctor did test after test after test and it was so stressful and so frustrating. Finally a random chest x-ray showed his enlarged heart at 15 months old.
When I called, what was supposed to be the direct line to Dr H's receptionist at BCCH was a general desk I don't even know where, and the receptionist had to transfer my call, since things had changed. That threw me off; I'd have to remember to ask what the new direct line number was. Then I realized she said a different name other than Theresa. Oh no! Is Theresa gone? For just the day or for always? I liked her!
The receptionist I talked to was definitely not Theresa! When I told her that I needed to book an appointment for my son, she informed me that I needed to have a doctor's referral first. Excuse me? A referral? I let her know that my son had been seeing Dr H for 5 to 7 years now (in fact it's been 8 years already). Her short response was, "I know. You still need a referral." What? Why? She went to pull Kai's chart and I was sitting on the other end of the line, fuming and feeling confused. So many things came out of my mouth that I wanted to say, but knew I wouldn't because I'm polite and wouldn't likely get the chance. I also knew I should try not to rude right back to her, even though I didn't like her attitude or tone. When she returned, she said she wasn't too sure which tests Dr H would want to do, but most likely just the echo and ECG, but she'd have to ask him. I still had to go get a referral from my family doctor first though. I'm still insisting that we've been seeing this doctor since Kai was a baby, and I've made appointments every year and I've NEVER had to go get a referral. She disagreed with me, which irked me even more. I ask her how long it's been this way and when did it change? She tells me it's always been this way; I've always needed a referral. WTH? I hang up with her, thoroughly confused and agitated. I know my memory is not the best at times, but I know that I have never had to go see my doctor for a referral to see the specialist that we've seen for so long. ...or have I and I just don't remember because it's been a year?
When I call up my family doctor and get connected to her receptionist (another Theresa, whom I love) and tell her of my confusion, she tells me that, yes, it's always been this way! That somehow a referral was always needed and faxed over.
What is she talking about???
So either my memory is so shot...or she's implying that Dr H's Theresa used to contact my family dr for a referral for me and have them fax it over so we can get in for our annual check up! (without me knowing) I do recall that you DO need a referral to see a specialist if your last appointment had been longer than 6 months apart, (because I remember having to get another one for me to see my rheumetologist years ago) but still, it hadn't occurred to me that this fell under the same rules. It makes sense that it would, I guess. But I am bewildered. I do not ever recall needing to go get a silly referral.
It irks me to think that I would have to pull Kai from school for a few hours, take him to White Rock so the doctor can look at him, just so we can have a referral form faxed for us. I am hoping that the doctor will not see a need to have us come in and will just do that instead. As it is, his cardiology appointment will take him a day out of school as it is just to go all the way to Vancouver, to the Children's Hospital, for his tests. (I could wait until he's out of school if I'm so worried he'll miss something *snarf* but then I'd have to take all of the kids with me too, and that would be super stressful. No thanks.) I'm annoyed that something so simple, something that I've been meaning to do for a while now, has been stretched out and made difficult. It makes me feel frustrated and slightly embarrassed that this piece of info slipped past me...and I got upset with the receptionist over it. Of course she was right! ...but it just didn't sound or feel right. :/
When I called, what was supposed to be the direct line to Dr H's receptionist at BCCH was a general desk I don't even know where, and the receptionist had to transfer my call, since things had changed. That threw me off; I'd have to remember to ask what the new direct line number was. Then I realized she said a different name other than Theresa. Oh no! Is Theresa gone? For just the day or for always? I liked her!
The receptionist I talked to was definitely not Theresa! When I told her that I needed to book an appointment for my son, she informed me that I needed to have a doctor's referral first. Excuse me? A referral? I let her know that my son had been seeing Dr H for 5 to 7 years now (in fact it's been 8 years already). Her short response was, "I know. You still need a referral." What? Why? She went to pull Kai's chart and I was sitting on the other end of the line, fuming and feeling confused. So many things came out of my mouth that I wanted to say, but knew I wouldn't because I'm polite and wouldn't likely get the chance. I also knew I should try not to rude right back to her, even though I didn't like her attitude or tone. When she returned, she said she wasn't too sure which tests Dr H would want to do, but most likely just the echo and ECG, but she'd have to ask him. I still had to go get a referral from my family doctor first though. I'm still insisting that we've been seeing this doctor since Kai was a baby, and I've made appointments every year and I've NEVER had to go get a referral. She disagreed with me, which irked me even more. I ask her how long it's been this way and when did it change? She tells me it's always been this way; I've always needed a referral. WTH? I hang up with her, thoroughly confused and agitated. I know my memory is not the best at times, but I know that I have never had to go see my doctor for a referral to see the specialist that we've seen for so long. ...or have I and I just don't remember because it's been a year?
When I call up my family doctor and get connected to her receptionist (another Theresa, whom I love) and tell her of my confusion, she tells me that, yes, it's always been this way! That somehow a referral was always needed and faxed over.
What is she talking about???
So either my memory is so shot...or she's implying that Dr H's Theresa used to contact my family dr for a referral for me and have them fax it over so we can get in for our annual check up! (without me knowing) I do recall that you DO need a referral to see a specialist if your last appointment had been longer than 6 months apart, (because I remember having to get another one for me to see my rheumetologist years ago) but still, it hadn't occurred to me that this fell under the same rules. It makes sense that it would, I guess. But I am bewildered. I do not ever recall needing to go get a silly referral.
It irks me to think that I would have to pull Kai from school for a few hours, take him to White Rock so the doctor can look at him, just so we can have a referral form faxed for us. I am hoping that the doctor will not see a need to have us come in and will just do that instead. As it is, his cardiology appointment will take him a day out of school as it is just to go all the way to Vancouver, to the Children's Hospital, for his tests. (I could wait until he's out of school if I'm so worried he'll miss something *snarf* but then I'd have to take all of the kids with me too, and that would be super stressful. No thanks.) I'm annoyed that something so simple, something that I've been meaning to do for a while now, has been stretched out and made difficult. It makes me feel frustrated and slightly embarrassed that this piece of info slipped past me...and I got upset with the receptionist over it. Of course she was right! ...but it just didn't sound or feel right. :/
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Eden is 23 months old and is starting to put together words, this week it's the beginning of 2 and 3 word sentences, which is so exciting! Rhys didn't pick that up until he was 3 1/2 or 4! It is so surprising for me to see the differences between Eden and the others. Part of it may be from her being a girl, because for sure, both she and Abi had no trouble speaking, but it was painful getting my boys to grasp the skill to turn tongue from babbles to words. A part of it may be largely to her personality too; she is one powerhouse! She is strong in muscle and in her attitude! She delights me as well as frustrates me!
Last night, she woke up at one in the morning crying, of course, just as I was going to bed. (She always seems to know when I'm just ready in bed) I had hopes that since she stopped crying by the time I got out of the bathroom that she had fallen back asleep, but deep down I knew that wasn't likely. Sure enough, she's sitting up in her crib, eyes wide awake, just waiting for me to rescue her. Phooey. But I'll admit it, as much as I find it frustrating that she wakes up a good 98% of the time, I also do love snuggling with a sleepy child! Except, this one wasn't sleepy! :(
I'm carrying her down the hall, whispering to her, hugging her and asking, "What happened?"
"Ha'pn."
"What's wrong?" I try again.
"wrong." she repeats
"Are you hungry?"
"hung'y."
Ok. Maybe we're getting somewhere. We go into the kitchen and I open the fridge. I offer some cheese, she shakes her head. I offer her a rice cake. Another stiff response. Is she thirsty? Negative. Ok, so there's nothing in the kitchen she wants. She sees the Keurig. "Daddy?" She already knows that Daddy uses the machine for his coffee!
"Daddy's in bed."
"bed?"
"yes, he's sleeping," I explain.
"seeping?"
"yes."
"why?"
"well, it's nighttime. Do you see how dark it is outside?" We walk into the darkened living room.
"dark side."
"Yes. It's time for bed."
"Noooo!" she starts to cry as we head down the hall.
I have to stop and turn back so that she doesn't wake anyone else up. I cradle her head to my chest and kiss her temple. She is so precious and still so new. "What's wrong?"
"wrong." she repeats.
"You don't want to go to bed?"
"bed."
Ok, we are getting no where with this! "Do you want to go to bed with Mama?" I offer.
"bed."
"yes, with me."
"bed."
"Yes, it's bedtime and I'm tired. Let's go!"
"go."
As soon as we snuggle up in bed at 1:30am, she gets herself cozy and falls asleep. I wish it were that easy for me! It's such a delight to hear her little voice speak real words, but sometimes getting any real answers out of her isn't easy. She loves to repeat the last word you say!
Last night, she woke up at one in the morning crying, of course, just as I was going to bed. (She always seems to know when I'm just ready in bed) I had hopes that since she stopped crying by the time I got out of the bathroom that she had fallen back asleep, but deep down I knew that wasn't likely. Sure enough, she's sitting up in her crib, eyes wide awake, just waiting for me to rescue her. Phooey. But I'll admit it, as much as I find it frustrating that she wakes up a good 98% of the time, I also do love snuggling with a sleepy child! Except, this one wasn't sleepy! :(
I'm carrying her down the hall, whispering to her, hugging her and asking, "What happened?"
"Ha'pn."
"What's wrong?" I try again.
"wrong." she repeats
"Are you hungry?"
"hung'y."
Ok. Maybe we're getting somewhere. We go into the kitchen and I open the fridge. I offer some cheese, she shakes her head. I offer her a rice cake. Another stiff response. Is she thirsty? Negative. Ok, so there's nothing in the kitchen she wants. She sees the Keurig. "Daddy?" She already knows that Daddy uses the machine for his coffee!
"Daddy's in bed."
"bed?"
"yes, he's sleeping," I explain.
"seeping?"
"yes."
"why?"
"well, it's nighttime. Do you see how dark it is outside?" We walk into the darkened living room.
"dark side."
"Yes. It's time for bed."
"Noooo!" she starts to cry as we head down the hall.
I have to stop and turn back so that she doesn't wake anyone else up. I cradle her head to my chest and kiss her temple. She is so precious and still so new. "What's wrong?"
"wrong." she repeats.
"You don't want to go to bed?"
"bed."
Ok, we are getting no where with this! "Do you want to go to bed with Mama?" I offer.
"bed."
"yes, with me."
"bed."
"Yes, it's bedtime and I'm tired. Let's go!"
"go."
As soon as we snuggle up in bed at 1:30am, she gets herself cozy and falls asleep. I wish it were that easy for me! It's such a delight to hear her little voice speak real words, but sometimes getting any real answers out of her isn't easy. She loves to repeat the last word you say!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Bryn is finishing up grade one this year (I know! Grade One!!! *sniff*sniff*) and throughout the year he's been taking home Little Readers to practice his reading. It's been a slow moving process from when he first started the year until now. I have to admit that I was worried for him, thinking he'd never get it, even all the way back in January when he was still stumbling over words that I thought were simple ones, like and and the. :( I didn't know what to do for him, though. How do you teach someone to read??? I am definitely not a teacher and there is a reason why I don't homeschool, even though I admire those who do, so I was hoping that he'd get it soon and that his teacher wouldn't call us aside to start some at-home teaching assignments for him!
I am happy to say that he has! This weekend, he has read some books to his little brother and he's read his Little Reader book with no problems! I am so proud of him!
I got a chuckle out of his reading tonight though. He was reading a book called "Birthday Balloons" by Beverley Randell. I thought we'd read it before, but maybe it was a different one with a similar title because the story wasn't familiar to me. As he was reading, he was showing me how he is starting to actually understand the story, as opposed to just reading words! That is so exciting to see! It's hard for a child to grasp the concepts and still take it all in at the same time, which is why sometimes a story can take 20 minutes as they keep getting distracted by the pictures! In this particular book, a boy named Tom is given 6 balloons by his Poppa for his six birthday.
Bryn reads the lines: "Here is your present, Tom," sad Nana. "Go on, Tom," said Mom... Bryn pauses. "Why?" he asks me, looking at the picture.
I laugh. "Continue reading..."
"Open the box." He had stopped in the middle of the sentence!
And then later on the next page:
"Tom opened the box. He saw three little cars..."
Bryn looks at the picture. "There's more than three there!"
I laugh loudly. "Bryn, finish reading first!"
"Oh!" He turns back to the story, "...and three little trucks."
I shake my head. He ducks his head with a smile.
Silly boy!
But he's starting to get the idea, isn't he? I think that is so great! I am so relieved that he has managed to go from stumbling over small words to reading a whole book on his own in a few months! Teachers are awesome!!!
I am happy to say that he has! This weekend, he has read some books to his little brother and he's read his Little Reader book with no problems! I am so proud of him!
I got a chuckle out of his reading tonight though. He was reading a book called "Birthday Balloons" by Beverley Randell. I thought we'd read it before, but maybe it was a different one with a similar title because the story wasn't familiar to me. As he was reading, he was showing me how he is starting to actually understand the story, as opposed to just reading words! That is so exciting to see! It's hard for a child to grasp the concepts and still take it all in at the same time, which is why sometimes a story can take 20 minutes as they keep getting distracted by the pictures! In this particular book, a boy named Tom is given 6 balloons by his Poppa for his six birthday.
Bryn reads the lines: "Here is your present, Tom," sad Nana. "Go on, Tom," said Mom... Bryn pauses. "Why?" he asks me, looking at the picture.
I laugh. "Continue reading..."
"Open the box." He had stopped in the middle of the sentence!
And then later on the next page:
"Tom opened the box. He saw three little cars..."
Bryn looks at the picture. "There's more than three there!"
I laugh loudly. "Bryn, finish reading first!"
"Oh!" He turns back to the story, "...and three little trucks."
I shake my head. He ducks his head with a smile.
Silly boy!
But he's starting to get the idea, isn't he? I think that is so great! I am so relieved that he has managed to go from stumbling over small words to reading a whole book on his own in a few months! Teachers are awesome!!!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
I've sat many times in front of this computer, staring at my blog, wondering what to say, where to begin, how to put my thoughts into words....so much has happened in the almost two-year absence. A lot.
Eden is nearing her second birthday. Yes. Her second. How did that happen? The last I mentioned, she was just a newborn! Yikes! I truely enjoyed her babyhood, and am getting used to her outspoken toddlerhood! :) She is a force to be reckoned with, that's for sure! It was so much different with her than with the others. Maybe it's because she's a girl, and I had been immersed in boy-stuff for eight years and had forgotten there were other ways of doing things. Or maybe it was that she is just a completely different personality. Maybe the bonding was just deeper with her. Maybe a bit of all of that. I absolutely loved breastfeeding her and I felt so "whole" and closer and deeper with her. I hadn't breastfed B or R due to their prematurity and hospital stays, so it was so wonderful to be able to do that with E. I have to admit that I don't remember loving it as much with A or K, though, as I did with E, but maybe that was due to me being a new mom and still adjusting or maybe it was because I was just happy to have the chance to do it again for E. Or maybe a bit of both! ;)
It's amazing how much changed in me after having Eden. For the first time since starting our family, I felt confident! I felt like I knew what I was doing and how to do it. But most of all, I knew that what I was doing worked for ME and I was confident in that and didn't care anymore what anyone else thought! And that says a lot! :) I was HAPPY. Truely happy.
2011 ended off great. Things felt "right" and "good". ....
And then 2012 was tough and hard and scary and full of so many complex things. Abi almost died in Spring and that threw off the whole year! I can't even express how that feels. How do you explain into words what it's like to be up against that FEAR...the reality that your child can be alive and then suddenly dead? How do I even mention it in a small paragraph without getting into it? I can't. I'll have to leave that story for a later date. She almost died, but God gave her back to us, and when I think about it my chest still heaves and tightens.
After her attack, we had the Olders tested for allergies...and wow, I had NO idea there were so many they were dealing with! That was quite a shock! So we had a few visits with an awesome pediatrician (whom I still call our "Family Hero"! I love this man!) and learned how to deal with things and learned how to NOT fear every cough or runny nose or need for inhalers or even the sound of an ambulance. And just as things were settling down, my Father had a heart attack while helping out Hunny at our house last summer, and that threw our family off once again. And that is a scary thing too! He should've died as well, but for some reason, God granted him life and healing (of which he is still doing) and that is overwhelming. And then in the Fall, I had chest pains that ended in an ambulance arriving at our house for the 3rd time in one year! I was fine and am still undiagnosed, but there are a few ideas...but I've never had that type of pain since. It may've been some muscle issues (it wasn't asthma) mixed with fear of my own heart attack, I don't know. But thankfully, I didn't need to be admitted to the hospital and things did settle down.
So much changed last year. Abi changed; she grew up and graduated from elementary school! (She's in grade 6 at the middle school! Eek!) But it was also in her personality, where she had to deal with her own fears and battle to overcome them personally. She has emerged and flourished this year and I am so happy to see that. My heart ached for her last year and I spent many days in tears and crying out to Jesus to heal her and to give us a glimpse of His future and a sense of peace in the journey. And God is good; He answered! Oh, God is so good!
When I look back, really look and list everything big that happened, and stack them up beside each other, I can see how I have changed and how God used it all. It's all connected in some way. The confidence I felt after my fifth child, the feeling of growing out of my immature-young-mother-feeling to a strong and weathered mom, to the depth of my reliance and trust in my Heavenly Father. God doesn't do things just for the sake of doing them! Everything He does is GOOD and it all points back to Him. And I can see that. I may not feel it is good at the time, and really I don't think I can say that Abi's near death was "good" either, but I can say with confidence that He is good. And I find my strength in Him.
I remember thinking last year that I was frustrated with my lack of spiritual growth. I wanted to change. I wanted to feel the excitement I felt when I was younger. I wanted the passion back! My belief in Him hadn't changed, but the way I lived had. I just lived. Woke up, tended to children, ate food, struggled with kids, did necessary chores, climbed into bed weary and started all over again the next day. Always the same. And I wanted something MORE. And I remember that despite that desire, I still feared to change. I didn't really want to change. I didn't want Him to challenge me! I was frightened what it would mean if He actually took my desire for real and forced something upon me. I was so scared of what He'd demand of me. I had heard so many times of how God will put something really tough in front of you, some huge obstacle that you had to overcome...maybe it was something you had to let go of, or something you had to face, but it was always something that would be a challenge because we can't grow and change on our own. It just doesn't work that way. We need to have a fire under us to force movement sometimes! But the idea scared me...so I never really did anything different to change myself, or grow or search deeper. Every effort I made was just surface enough still. :( And it was so frustrating.
Do I feel that nearly losing my Daughter and my Dad was God's "obstacle" in my life; my challenge to grow? I don't know. But I do know that those events did cause my faith and my beliefs and my relationship to go deeper. I know that I really do not have a clue! And nothing is in my control and no matter how much I love something, if it's time is up it's up and I don't own anything. And that was scary too. But it also made my faith fall onto the One who IS in control.
I recently finished this wonderful book and there is a quote in it that has struck me that I keep thinking over it. The character, Kale, is angry and upset that her friend is missing and her friend, Dar, explains: "Kale, in your mind you've made us the centre of what is happening. Wulder is the centre." (Dragonspell by Donita K. Paul 2004. Waterbrook Press. pg 82) No matter what is happening, and what I am going through, it is not about me! But I can trust the One it is about!
Things still aren't settled in our family yet and there is still change to come, but I don't fear it like I used to. It's amazing what you can go through and survive when you have to and have your focus on the right thing!
Eden is nearing her second birthday. Yes. Her second. How did that happen? The last I mentioned, she was just a newborn! Yikes! I truely enjoyed her babyhood, and am getting used to her outspoken toddlerhood! :) She is a force to be reckoned with, that's for sure! It was so much different with her than with the others. Maybe it's because she's a girl, and I had been immersed in boy-stuff for eight years and had forgotten there were other ways of doing things. Or maybe it was that she is just a completely different personality. Maybe the bonding was just deeper with her. Maybe a bit of all of that. I absolutely loved breastfeeding her and I felt so "whole" and closer and deeper with her. I hadn't breastfed B or R due to their prematurity and hospital stays, so it was so wonderful to be able to do that with E. I have to admit that I don't remember loving it as much with A or K, though, as I did with E, but maybe that was due to me being a new mom and still adjusting or maybe it was because I was just happy to have the chance to do it again for E. Or maybe a bit of both! ;)
It's amazing how much changed in me after having Eden. For the first time since starting our family, I felt confident! I felt like I knew what I was doing and how to do it. But most of all, I knew that what I was doing worked for ME and I was confident in that and didn't care anymore what anyone else thought! And that says a lot! :) I was HAPPY. Truely happy.
2011 ended off great. Things felt "right" and "good". ....
And then 2012 was tough and hard and scary and full of so many complex things. Abi almost died in Spring and that threw off the whole year! I can't even express how that feels. How do you explain into words what it's like to be up against that FEAR...the reality that your child can be alive and then suddenly dead? How do I even mention it in a small paragraph without getting into it? I can't. I'll have to leave that story for a later date. She almost died, but God gave her back to us, and when I think about it my chest still heaves and tightens.
After her attack, we had the Olders tested for allergies...and wow, I had NO idea there were so many they were dealing with! That was quite a shock! So we had a few visits with an awesome pediatrician (whom I still call our "Family Hero"! I love this man!) and learned how to deal with things and learned how to NOT fear every cough or runny nose or need for inhalers or even the sound of an ambulance. And just as things were settling down, my Father had a heart attack while helping out Hunny at our house last summer, and that threw our family off once again. And that is a scary thing too! He should've died as well, but for some reason, God granted him life and healing (of which he is still doing) and that is overwhelming. And then in the Fall, I had chest pains that ended in an ambulance arriving at our house for the 3rd time in one year! I was fine and am still undiagnosed, but there are a few ideas...but I've never had that type of pain since. It may've been some muscle issues (it wasn't asthma) mixed with fear of my own heart attack, I don't know. But thankfully, I didn't need to be admitted to the hospital and things did settle down.
So much changed last year. Abi changed; she grew up and graduated from elementary school! (She's in grade 6 at the middle school! Eek!) But it was also in her personality, where she had to deal with her own fears and battle to overcome them personally. She has emerged and flourished this year and I am so happy to see that. My heart ached for her last year and I spent many days in tears and crying out to Jesus to heal her and to give us a glimpse of His future and a sense of peace in the journey. And God is good; He answered! Oh, God is so good!
When I look back, really look and list everything big that happened, and stack them up beside each other, I can see how I have changed and how God used it all. It's all connected in some way. The confidence I felt after my fifth child, the feeling of growing out of my immature-young-mother-feeling to a strong and weathered mom, to the depth of my reliance and trust in my Heavenly Father. God doesn't do things just for the sake of doing them! Everything He does is GOOD and it all points back to Him. And I can see that. I may not feel it is good at the time, and really I don't think I can say that Abi's near death was "good" either, but I can say with confidence that He is good. And I find my strength in Him.
I remember thinking last year that I was frustrated with my lack of spiritual growth. I wanted to change. I wanted to feel the excitement I felt when I was younger. I wanted the passion back! My belief in Him hadn't changed, but the way I lived had. I just lived. Woke up, tended to children, ate food, struggled with kids, did necessary chores, climbed into bed weary and started all over again the next day. Always the same. And I wanted something MORE. And I remember that despite that desire, I still feared to change. I didn't really want to change. I didn't want Him to challenge me! I was frightened what it would mean if He actually took my desire for real and forced something upon me. I was so scared of what He'd demand of me. I had heard so many times of how God will put something really tough in front of you, some huge obstacle that you had to overcome...maybe it was something you had to let go of, or something you had to face, but it was always something that would be a challenge because we can't grow and change on our own. It just doesn't work that way. We need to have a fire under us to force movement sometimes! But the idea scared me...so I never really did anything different to change myself, or grow or search deeper. Every effort I made was just surface enough still. :( And it was so frustrating.
Do I feel that nearly losing my Daughter and my Dad was God's "obstacle" in my life; my challenge to grow? I don't know. But I do know that those events did cause my faith and my beliefs and my relationship to go deeper. I know that I really do not have a clue! And nothing is in my control and no matter how much I love something, if it's time is up it's up and I don't own anything. And that was scary too. But it also made my faith fall onto the One who IS in control.
I recently finished this wonderful book and there is a quote in it that has struck me that I keep thinking over it. The character, Kale, is angry and upset that her friend is missing and her friend, Dar, explains: "Kale, in your mind you've made us the centre of what is happening. Wulder is the centre." (Dragonspell by Donita K. Paul 2004. Waterbrook Press. pg 82) No matter what is happening, and what I am going through, it is not about me! But I can trust the One it is about!
Things still aren't settled in our family yet and there is still change to come, but I don't fear it like I used to. It's amazing what you can go through and survive when you have to and have your focus on the right thing!
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