Vintage Curated Cottage Home Decor
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Wednesday, August 21, 2013
I have decided that from now on, whenever I need to think on something that I should just have a nap. Whether or not it be something as simple as deciding to bake cookies or to organize a drawer, of if it's something I need to remember such as 'why did I enter this room?' The answer lies in me laying down in the pretense of going to sleep, because that is when my brain seems to work the most.
GAH!
My body is tired. My eyes are so sleepy they don't want to stay open. I need to go to bed. So I get my weary self down the hall, mechanically brush my teeth, turn off all the lights and stumble to my bed (memo to self--you really need to clean your bedroom floor) and crawl under the covers (after I've snatched some back from Hunny, who is an Early Bird to my Night Owl) and BAM! Suddenly I remember all the things that I forgot to do that day! I can now compose several emails, blog posts, letters and FB status'! I start thinking up wonderful ideas on de-cluttering rooms in my house! My mind is at an information overload and I debate on whether this stuff is important enough to climb out of bed for to write down (sometimes it is) or if I should just roll over and attempt to think sleepy thought (good luck)
Dumb brain. Thinking too much. Don't you know it's bedtime? You've had all day to be brilliant, it's too late now!
grr.
One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four....
GAH!
My body is tired. My eyes are so sleepy they don't want to stay open. I need to go to bed. So I get my weary self down the hall, mechanically brush my teeth, turn off all the lights and stumble to my bed (memo to self--you really need to clean your bedroom floor) and crawl under the covers (after I've snatched some back from Hunny, who is an Early Bird to my Night Owl) and BAM! Suddenly I remember all the things that I forgot to do that day! I can now compose several emails, blog posts, letters and FB status'! I start thinking up wonderful ideas on de-cluttering rooms in my house! My mind is at an information overload and I debate on whether this stuff is important enough to climb out of bed for to write down (sometimes it is) or if I should just roll over and attempt to think sleepy thought (good luck)
Dumb brain. Thinking too much. Don't you know it's bedtime? You've had all day to be brilliant, it's too late now!
grr.
One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four....
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
I read this blog piece a few weeks ago and was so touched by it that it ran through my head a few times. I knew I wanted to put it up on my blog too, but I just didn't know what to say. How do I add to the words that were already written? How can I even attempt to make my words more when she's said it so well?
To say that it got me thinking is an understatement! The funny thing is that I had often thought these things myself yet still fell into the typical thought process we are fed. It's all our fault. We need to do more to protect ourselves. We are 'asking for it' if we aren't careful. But it's ridiculous and it needs to stop!
The author mentions the most common argument that Christians use in how we are taught to dress: that a woman ought to cover herself up lest she cause a man to stumble and fall. Then she mentions four ways that that line of thinking is incorrect. You really should read it! Highlighted here: it is legalistic, it objectifies women, it is spiritually weak, and it "paves the way for victim blaming and rape culture". I hadn't thought of those before, but wow. She says that we are sending a message to boys that they are "untamable animals, subject to their bodies desires".
THANK-YOU!
I have always felt that it was misleading the way we are teaching our girls. Yes, I do believe we should dress appropriately and that we shouldn't be showing off our bodies or attracting attention in a negative way. (I've been teaching Abi lately about how a girl can use her clothes to portray different stories. Certain clothes will give a certain thought to people. I tell her that the girl may be a great friend and be fun and not intend to give the message people see, but sadly her clothes speak for her, and we need to be aware of that as women.) But (and it's a big one) why aren't we also teaching our boys to behave properly??? I see it all the time, and it's so common, and it starts way in infancy. When our boys start off with an easy out excuse: boys will be boys.
I remember talking to my BFF when she was pregnant and she would get dumb remarks from people: "oh, you better hope it's a boy! a girl can come home pregnant!" For one, what an idiotic thing to say! Two, why would I teach my boy to not be responsible if he did get his girlfriend pregnant? why would it be acceptable to just 'come home'? Three, why would my girl be coming home pregnant? ARGH! We both got irked by those type of comments!
http://www.imperfecthomemaking.com/2013/07/what-our-daughters-and-sons-need-to.html
This line of thinking is what gets us into the troubles we are having today with our youth and social media and the rape culture. When boys will be boys and sexually assault and humiliate our girls. When images are shared amongst eachother with no thoughts of consequences and of anyone else. We need to be teaching responsibility to ALL of our children. Proper etiquette. Caring for others. Standing up for what's right. Honoring God with our bodies.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12
**related reading: hurt heart, she wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini
To say that it got me thinking is an understatement! The funny thing is that I had often thought these things myself yet still fell into the typical thought process we are fed. It's all our fault. We need to do more to protect ourselves. We are 'asking for it' if we aren't careful. But it's ridiculous and it needs to stop!
The author mentions the most common argument that Christians use in how we are taught to dress: that a woman ought to cover herself up lest she cause a man to stumble and fall. Then she mentions four ways that that line of thinking is incorrect. You really should read it! Highlighted here: it is legalistic, it objectifies women, it is spiritually weak, and it "paves the way for victim blaming and rape culture". I hadn't thought of those before, but wow. She says that we are sending a message to boys that they are "untamable animals, subject to their bodies desires".
THANK-YOU!
I have always felt that it was misleading the way we are teaching our girls. Yes, I do believe we should dress appropriately and that we shouldn't be showing off our bodies or attracting attention in a negative way. (I've been teaching Abi lately about how a girl can use her clothes to portray different stories. Certain clothes will give a certain thought to people. I tell her that the girl may be a great friend and be fun and not intend to give the message people see, but sadly her clothes speak for her, and we need to be aware of that as women.) But (and it's a big one) why aren't we also teaching our boys to behave properly??? I see it all the time, and it's so common, and it starts way in infancy. When our boys start off with an easy out excuse: boys will be boys.
I remember talking to my BFF when she was pregnant and she would get dumb remarks from people: "oh, you better hope it's a boy! a girl can come home pregnant!" For one, what an idiotic thing to say! Two, why would I teach my boy to not be responsible if he did get his girlfriend pregnant? why would it be acceptable to just 'come home'? Three, why would my girl be coming home pregnant? ARGH! We both got irked by those type of comments!
http://www.imperfecthomemaking.com/2013/07/what-our-daughters-and-sons-need-to.html
This line of thinking is what gets us into the troubles we are having today with our youth and social media and the rape culture. When boys will be boys and sexually assault and humiliate our girls. When images are shared amongst eachother with no thoughts of consequences and of anyone else. We need to be teaching responsibility to ALL of our children. Proper etiquette. Caring for others. Standing up for what's right. Honoring God with our bodies.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12
**related reading: hurt heart, she wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini
The kids are at my parents' house for a few days this week. I love that stage of being a kid! I remember staying over at my Oma & Opa's farm with my sister a few times. Once, we had a tent set up outside and we tried to capture all the kittens to sleep in there with us (there must have been about 4 or 5 of them); it was cute at first, but they mewed so much and kept scratching at the sides that we let them go (in annoyance and dejection). I don't remember if we actually spent the night in the tent (I can't see us being brave enough, but maybe we were. Let's go with Yes!) but I do have a lot of fond memories of playing on The Farm. I am so sad that my children don't know the Farm, being on the West Coast. (my childhood was spent back East, where all my relatives are) Many of my summers were spent there, playing and exploring. We made forts with the cousins, we played in the old cars, we hid in the hay barn (I found out years later that were weren't supposed to do that), we chased each other around the house, we played with the kittens (there are always kittens at a farm).
My children won't have those types of memories with their grandparents. But they do have something that I never did: a relationship. Oh, my Opa & Oma are great ---I do recall many tea breaks with cookies, and Oma would wake us up real early to watch old reruns of The Little Rascals with homemade oatmeal. And I remember going for walks with Opa to look for the cows, and I have a faint memory of going for a ride with him on the tractor. But mostly I remember playing and exploring. My children's grandparents cater their sleepovers for them --- they get their favourite foods, get to watch their favourite movies, get to stay up late, and have special one-on-one attention. I love my Opa & Oma, but my kids have made! *smile*
I will get them in two days and we will spend the afternoon at the pool with my Mom (I wouldn't dare brave it alone with 5 children! A lake yes, because I know the chances of them going into the water is slim!) Until then, it's just me, Eden and Hunny. Eden was offered the chance to stay over as well (and I secretly hoped she would agree) but she isn't ready. She doesn't get the idea yet, which I find interesting. She likely won't until she's 4. That's when Rhys finally got it and wanted to stay as well! I didn't mind bringing Eden back home, though. She'll get her chance one day (God willing)
Today we cleaned dishes (not that I would eat off of her "clean" ones), had a bath...three times, did some laundry, played "tickle monster", cleaned a bit of the boys' room, had a nap (I tried to also, but my mind wouldn't settle. grr) sang and danced to music, checked out FB, went for a walk with Daddy, shared a snack, chased eachother around the living room, shot Daddy with a Nerf dart gun, and then snuggled to sleep! Phew! She is an energetic, loud, bouncy, giggly toddler! I know that is very typical for a 2 year old, but I did wonder today if that was what it was like when it was just us and Abi, and I couldn't remember. Eden and Abi have different personalities; Eden is loud and cheeky and bold and Abi is reserved and gentle and thinks first. I remember Abi being a Delight (she still is) and I'm sure I must've chased her around and played Tickle Monster til she giggled and lost her breath too, but you lose the actual memory and feeling. It was nice to have that one-child feeling again today.
As I snuggled with Eden tonight I thought ahead to that one day when it'll just be the three of us again. When all of her siblings have moved out and she's still at home. That is, if it does happen that way. She may move out faster than her brothers! She does seem to have a pretty set mind!
Earlier this morning, while we were downstairs organizing in the spare room, she tells me, "Pizza. Now." I smile and tell her something non-committal like, "Oh good!", thinking that she's playing pretend cooking or something. She tells me this a few more times, sounding quite insistent. It wasn't until an hour or so later that it occurs to me, Ohhhh! The peaches!!! We have a few more jars of peaches we canned last year down in that room! "Yesh!!!" Eden was quite excited when I finally understood her!
Later, as I was making lunch, Eden was feeling impatient, so she pulled out a bag of cereal and held it up to me. "Want it. Really dooooooo!" She said to me in a sing-gongy voice. "I need it!" It's hard to refuse such an earnest request.
What a cheesy grin! I love this girl!
I laughed at the "I need it!" phrase. Where did she learn that? Apparently as a toddler, I said the exact same thing! I "needed" everything! My Mom says that it was because she was trying to teach us that we Want things, but we don't Need everything! I was pretty sure I knew exactly that I NEEDED everything. (I admit that I still use those words when I want something, teehee) I guess she really does pick up everything. *huge grin*
My children won't have those types of memories with their grandparents. But they do have something that I never did: a relationship. Oh, my Opa & Oma are great ---I do recall many tea breaks with cookies, and Oma would wake us up real early to watch old reruns of The Little Rascals with homemade oatmeal. And I remember going for walks with Opa to look for the cows, and I have a faint memory of going for a ride with him on the tractor. But mostly I remember playing and exploring. My children's grandparents cater their sleepovers for them --- they get their favourite foods, get to watch their favourite movies, get to stay up late, and have special one-on-one attention. I love my Opa & Oma, but my kids have made! *smile*
I will get them in two days and we will spend the afternoon at the pool with my Mom (I wouldn't dare brave it alone with 5 children! A lake yes, because I know the chances of them going into the water is slim!) Until then, it's just me, Eden and Hunny. Eden was offered the chance to stay over as well (and I secretly hoped she would agree) but she isn't ready. She doesn't get the idea yet, which I find interesting. She likely won't until she's 4. That's when Rhys finally got it and wanted to stay as well! I didn't mind bringing Eden back home, though. She'll get her chance one day (God willing)
Today we cleaned dishes (not that I would eat off of her "clean" ones), had a bath...three times, did some laundry, played "tickle monster", cleaned a bit of the boys' room, had a nap (I tried to also, but my mind wouldn't settle. grr) sang and danced to music, checked out FB, went for a walk with Daddy, shared a snack, chased eachother around the living room, shot Daddy with a Nerf dart gun, and then snuggled to sleep! Phew! She is an energetic, loud, bouncy, giggly toddler! I know that is very typical for a 2 year old, but I did wonder today if that was what it was like when it was just us and Abi, and I couldn't remember. Eden and Abi have different personalities; Eden is loud and cheeky and bold and Abi is reserved and gentle and thinks first. I remember Abi being a Delight (she still is) and I'm sure I must've chased her around and played Tickle Monster til she giggled and lost her breath too, but you lose the actual memory and feeling. It was nice to have that one-child feeling again today.
As I snuggled with Eden tonight I thought ahead to that one day when it'll just be the three of us again. When all of her siblings have moved out and she's still at home. That is, if it does happen that way. She may move out faster than her brothers! She does seem to have a pretty set mind!
Earlier this morning, while we were downstairs organizing in the spare room, she tells me, "Pizza. Now." I smile and tell her something non-committal like, "Oh good!", thinking that she's playing pretend cooking or something. She tells me this a few more times, sounding quite insistent. It wasn't until an hour or so later that it occurs to me, Ohhhh! The peaches!!! We have a few more jars of peaches we canned last year down in that room! "Yesh!!!" Eden was quite excited when I finally understood her!
Later, as I was making lunch, Eden was feeling impatient, so she pulled out a bag of cereal and held it up to me. "Want it. Really dooooooo!" She said to me in a sing-gongy voice. "I need it!" It's hard to refuse such an earnest request.
What a cheesy grin! I love this girl!
I laughed at the "I need it!" phrase. Where did she learn that? Apparently as a toddler, I said the exact same thing! I "needed" everything! My Mom says that it was because she was trying to teach us that we Want things, but we don't Need everything! I was pretty sure I knew exactly that I NEEDED everything. (I admit that I still use those words when I want something, teehee) I guess she really does pick up everything. *huge grin*
Thursday, August 15, 2013
I feel a bit on edge lately. Not quite stressed, but no where near relaxed either. It feels like my life is on the verge of changing, but into what I don't know. So many things are close to the end, but there are no side roads or street lights and no signs for alternate directions, just a dead end. And I'm stumped.
Right now, things are up in the air for my children's schooling....will they return to the school they've only known and that I am very attached to after 7 years? Will I be starting up something completely different, like, gasp, homeschooling? What about Rhys? He is supposed to start preschool (which he is actually very excited about. Last year at this time, he was terrified at the idea! Yay for a year's change!) but will it even work out if the Olders have to change? *sigh* And, did I mention that school starts in 3 weeks?
Things are at an end with SU as well, and it saddens me. Friends who used to stamp and scrapbook have moved on to other things, it appears. I know! WTFroot? How do you stop being crafty???? So with no customers, it's not much of a business. *sigh* I'm trying to decide what to do. I'm not able to go back to the workforce with Eden only being two. Sure, there are plenty of part-time jobs in retail and such for me (which is all I'm really qualified for. I worked retail after highschool and was a Store Manager of Claire's, which I am very proud of, thank-you very much. But that was over 10 years ago. I went on maternity leave and didn't come back.) but to do that means either putting E into day care (and R part time) or I do evenings/weekends, which means that Hunny can't get any work done. (men truely are terrible at multitasking. grr.) I want to be able to help "provide" for the family, but I'm not too sure how yet. There are so many different things I want to do that I can't decide which way to go! GAH! I wish my brain didn't think so much!!!!
I'm trying to be patient and trust in God. I know that His ways are good and that whatever happens, where ever we are lead, is all a part of His plan. But that hasn't quite given me enough comfort yet. I wish I could say that was all I needed to be assured of, but not having ANY clue as to which way to go is quite daunting. It would be different if our alternative plans were ones we were excited about, but instead they really are our second options. And it would be much easier if I could even hear a whisper of His "still, small voice." But instead we have to stand here and wait.
I guess that means the only possible solution is to keep doing what we're doing. But that doesn't seem like much at all right now. It's hard to prepare when you don't know what you're preparing for!
Right now, things are up in the air for my children's schooling....will they return to the school they've only known and that I am very attached to after 7 years? Will I be starting up something completely different, like, gasp, homeschooling? What about Rhys? He is supposed to start preschool (which he is actually very excited about. Last year at this time, he was terrified at the idea! Yay for a year's change!) but will it even work out if the Olders have to change? *sigh* And, did I mention that school starts in 3 weeks?
Things are at an end with SU as well, and it saddens me. Friends who used to stamp and scrapbook have moved on to other things, it appears. I know! WTFroot? How do you stop being crafty???? So with no customers, it's not much of a business. *sigh* I'm trying to decide what to do. I'm not able to go back to the workforce with Eden only being two. Sure, there are plenty of part-time jobs in retail and such for me (which is all I'm really qualified for. I worked retail after highschool and was a Store Manager of Claire's, which I am very proud of, thank-you very much. But that was over 10 years ago. I went on maternity leave and didn't come back.) but to do that means either putting E into day care (and R part time) or I do evenings/weekends, which means that Hunny can't get any work done. (men truely are terrible at multitasking. grr.) I want to be able to help "provide" for the family, but I'm not too sure how yet. There are so many different things I want to do that I can't decide which way to go! GAH! I wish my brain didn't think so much!!!!
I'm trying to be patient and trust in God. I know that His ways are good and that whatever happens, where ever we are lead, is all a part of His plan. But that hasn't quite given me enough comfort yet. I wish I could say that was all I needed to be assured of, but not having ANY clue as to which way to go is quite daunting. It would be different if our alternative plans were ones we were excited about, but instead they really are our second options. And it would be much easier if I could even hear a whisper of His "still, small voice." But instead we have to stand here and wait.
I guess that means the only possible solution is to keep doing what we're doing. But that doesn't seem like much at all right now. It's hard to prepare when you don't know what you're preparing for!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
I found myself crying again today for a girl I don't know and will never get to meet. The story of Rehtaeh Parsons has really shaken me ever since I first heard it months ago. I feel such anger at how she was abandoned by her own peers and by the police, and I feel incredible sorrow that the pain she carried brought her to her death. I wonder how anyone could think it was acceptable or justified to ever humiliate, degrade, take advantage of, molest and lie about a fellow peer. She wasn't a stranger to these boys, she was a student, could've been a friend, yet they treated her like some object they could discard. And it hurts my heart.
What hurts more is that it sounds like she was completely alone in all of this. I have yet to hear of any friends who supported her or stood by her or tried to dispel any rumours. Did the one friend who took her to the boy's house really not remember the events well enough to connect that she was absolutely drunk and not able to walk on her own? My friends and I had made a pact that we were to watch out for each other when we drank. One of us was a little more susceptible to poor choices when she drank, so we needed to watch for her the most, which meant checking up on her, not letting her go anywhere alone and taking away her car keys. It's a shame that this 'friend' didn't have the same values, and that her mom didn't help either. How do you see a drunk girl and not worry about what is going on? Even if she were sober enough to consent, as a mother I would've insisted she come back home, as I was the one who was responsible for her (since she was staying at my house for the night with my daughter, that is) It's too bad that no one thought of that. That they chose to think that Rehtaeh was the kind of girl who would drink so much that she'd ditch her friend to have sex with two boys she didn't know very well.
Read Rehtaeh's father, Glen Canning, describe the painful experience here. Read Rehtaeh's Story Then Tell Me She Wasn't Raped. If you can, read his other pieces too. He's a good writer and a good father. If my heart hurts at what happened to her, how much more his must feel like bursting.
It makes me angry that these boys are only going to be charged with possession of child pornography, and only two of them, when so much more went on. It makes me angry that the police couldn't do anything for Rehtaeh. Or wouldn't. I know that they can't press charges based upon assumption or a one-sided story, and they need some type of proof, but that it took over a year to even make this recent arrest is ridiculous! How could there not be enough evidence to go on? I am so angry at these boys that I could spit! (and I hate spitting) That they thought what they did was ok. No big deal. A huge joke. That rape was something that is acceptable when a girl drinks too much. It appalls me to think that boys can get together and decide that this is something that would be a fun idea. That not one of them thought it wasn't right. Surely someone in their group of friends, someone in the school, someone they knew, thought that something wasn't right with this picture. How can every one all think the same way? Did any one mention it to a school counselor or go to the police or even talk to Rehtaeh?
I fear for us as a country where actions like these aren't questioned. But it happens every day. Boys take what they want and girls get blamed because of the clothes she wears or the amount she drinks.
One of my favourite writers, Ann Voskamp, wrote a blog piece just after the Steubenville rape trial ended that really stuck with me. While it mentions a more well-known case in the US, this still rings true for all of us. She put it perfectly when she wrote,
When the prevailing thinking is boys will be boys — girls will be garbage.
And that is never the heart of God.
.....
Unless a man looks to Jesus, a man doesn’t know how to treat a woman.
Her piece is full of the heart of God and how Real Men treat a woman God treasures. (and He treasures us all). After Steubenville: 25 Things our Sons Need to know About Manhood.
We need to change.
We desperately need Him.
What hurts more is that it sounds like she was completely alone in all of this. I have yet to hear of any friends who supported her or stood by her or tried to dispel any rumours. Did the one friend who took her to the boy's house really not remember the events well enough to connect that she was absolutely drunk and not able to walk on her own? My friends and I had made a pact that we were to watch out for each other when we drank. One of us was a little more susceptible to poor choices when she drank, so we needed to watch for her the most, which meant checking up on her, not letting her go anywhere alone and taking away her car keys. It's a shame that this 'friend' didn't have the same values, and that her mom didn't help either. How do you see a drunk girl and not worry about what is going on? Even if she were sober enough to consent, as a mother I would've insisted she come back home, as I was the one who was responsible for her (since she was staying at my house for the night with my daughter, that is) It's too bad that no one thought of that. That they chose to think that Rehtaeh was the kind of girl who would drink so much that she'd ditch her friend to have sex with two boys she didn't know very well.
Read Rehtaeh's father, Glen Canning, describe the painful experience here. Read Rehtaeh's Story Then Tell Me She Wasn't Raped. If you can, read his other pieces too. He's a good writer and a good father. If my heart hurts at what happened to her, how much more his must feel like bursting.
It makes me angry that these boys are only going to be charged with possession of child pornography, and only two of them, when so much more went on. It makes me angry that the police couldn't do anything for Rehtaeh. Or wouldn't. I know that they can't press charges based upon assumption or a one-sided story, and they need some type of proof, but that it took over a year to even make this recent arrest is ridiculous! How could there not be enough evidence to go on? I am so angry at these boys that I could spit! (and I hate spitting) That they thought what they did was ok. No big deal. A huge joke. That rape was something that is acceptable when a girl drinks too much. It appalls me to think that boys can get together and decide that this is something that would be a fun idea. That not one of them thought it wasn't right. Surely someone in their group of friends, someone in the school, someone they knew, thought that something wasn't right with this picture. How can every one all think the same way? Did any one mention it to a school counselor or go to the police or even talk to Rehtaeh?
I fear for us as a country where actions like these aren't questioned. But it happens every day. Boys take what they want and girls get blamed because of the clothes she wears or the amount she drinks.
One of my favourite writers, Ann Voskamp, wrote a blog piece just after the Steubenville rape trial ended that really stuck with me. While it mentions a more well-known case in the US, this still rings true for all of us. She put it perfectly when she wrote,
When the prevailing thinking is boys will be boys — girls will be garbage.
And that is never the heart of God.
.....
Unless a man looks to Jesus, a man doesn’t know how to treat a woman.
Her piece is full of the heart of God and how Real Men treat a woman God treasures. (and He treasures us all). After Steubenville: 25 Things our Sons Need to know About Manhood.
We need to change.
We desperately need Him.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
I had a some-what funny conversation with my Dad a week or so ago. He had popped by since he was in the area and visited for half an hour. It was a nice surprise! He was mentioning that he needed to do a blood test before his doctors appointment that week. I said I had to do a test on Rhys before his appointment next week as well. My Dad wanted to know why he needed to go to the pediatrician, so I said it was because he's delayed and we wanted to know why. His response was "So what? Some kids are not as smart as others." Uhm....ok. Thanks Dad, that's great. "He can play football. They're not very smart!" *snicker* Ok, good to know!
Yeah. My Dad comes from Old School thinking.
I think it's great that he can be so accepting that my son may not be as "smart as others", but this isn't about his intellegence, it's about his being behind by a few years. (as Hunny put it.) For me it's about finding out if there is anything we can do for Rhys, and if there is, let's do it now please!
We don't live like our parents did--where handicapped children were just the "retarded sibling" who couldn't do anything and had no chance. Today we have more resources available. And I'd like to use what I can to get Rhys as caught up as possible!
I wasn't offended or hurt by my Dad's comment. I did appreciate that he was so nonchalant about the whole thing and that it wouldn't be a big deal if Rhys were special needs in the end. But it did make me shake my head. I guess it's a good thing I've got 4 other "smart" children! LOL *smile*
It's hard to explain to family and friends who just don't see it as we do. Sure, R is immature, but so what, right? Maybe they're being kind and making excuses is easier for them. But I made excuses too. It wasn't until I pulled all of his old medical notes and such earlier that I was faced with it. Rhys was at a 30-36ms range when he was 40ms old, according to a Gessel Developmental Stage quiz. (that's 2 1/2-3yrs when he was 3 1/2) I kept saying what everyone else said, "he'll get it one day", or "he has older siblings who help him", and "he's a boy!" But finally I had to stop and realize that he HADN'T caught up. And I don't know if he will or not. He may always be immature, but then finally "get it". I don't know. But as a parent, I need to know what are the expectations. When he screeches at me and wails "nooooo!" at every answer he doesn't want to hear or seem to understand, is this something that I need to correct or is it something that comes with his undiagnosed issue?
In May, Dr T added another label to Rhys' chart. She didn't tell me, of course. I just saw that it was written on the requisition for bloodwork. She wrote that he was FTT (failure to thrive. ugh I hate that title) and GDD. That one made me stop. I had been looking at Global Developmental Delay for some time, but I had always shrugged it off that I didn't think he was. He could do more than what was listed, I was sure! But then I found this list on Kids Growth, and my heart hurt.
But since she didn't mention this to me at all, I don't know what to do. What does it mean? What should I be doing? ARGH!
********
This week we had our monthly visit with Dr T, except that it wasn't her, it was her locum; she's off having her 3rd child. This doctor came from the Children's hospital and had an agreeable disposition which I liked and trusted. I don't know if I'll see him again though, since he gave us a month off for our next appointment! We don't go back until September! Woohoo! (see, I told you they are running out of things to do for him!) The doctor wants me to contact the Centre for Child Development again to make sure we are on the wait list for preschool, just to keep our name out there and to confirm with them that he is attending preschool and not kindergarten. But I feel torn about this. See, as much as it would maybe be good to be at the Centre, it just does not fit in with scheduling. The Olders attend school in Langley, and the Centre is in the complete opposite direction in Surrey. There is no possible way I could make it for the morning class, or make it to pick up the Olders from school on time if R were in the afternoon class. Which is why we decided to go with the preschool that is at the school the Olders attend. But I struggled with the thoughts that if we truly were interested in Rhys' best, we'd make it work for him to go to the preschool at the Centre (if we were to get a spot, that is)...oh the Mommy Guilt!
At first, Dr N wanted me to contact the Speech Therapist about getting him back in for a consult. They saw him last in December and said that he was doing fine and that we could take the winter off. They'd contact us again in March. Except they didn't, and I didn't call them either since we were busy with Dr T and he was speaking so much better. (and, frankly I was annoyed with them!) But now he is five and I don't know if he's "graduated" from their program or not, or could he go back since technically he isn't registered at any school for the Fall? (you leave Speech once you start school, so you either graduate and are now at par with your peers, or you seek private ST, which is what we had to do for Kai.) They should've contacted us again since he was turning five and starting kindergarten age, as they like to work hardest on the older kids in the spring. But I'm sure if I call them, they'll make it out to be me who should've called them. *sigh* So I wasn't looking forward to that. But then Dr N decided to not have me call the ST, but to call the Centre. I'm trying to decide which one I'd rather do!
Regarding his stool test, everything is normal. Yay. Not too sure what that means regarding his elevated IgE, but I'm not going to worry about it. So far everything is coming back normal. Which is great in that he's not unhealthy, but it's sad in that we don't have anything else to go on.
*********
In other good news, I FINALLY got a hold of Kai's cardiology reception! I had only been trying to contact them since the end of May! I had left so many messages on their machine; I was starting to get rather ticked off! I had our doctor fax in our referral to see the cardiologist (and I know that would've been done that afternoon, as her receptionist, Theresa, is good!) and so I was just waiting for a date for our appointment. Except, things got even more frustrating.
Kai needed refills on his prescriptions. (he's taking Ramipril and Carvedilol currently) but when I called our pharmacy, his one medication had expired! Oh great! So I added that to my message on the cardiologist machine! Two days later. the pharmacist called me to say that they couldn't refill it because our cardiologist was on holidays, and oh, it was time for Kai to go back in for his annual checkup! I admit that I was a *bit* annoyed at the pharmacist for informing me of that, as if it were my fault he hadn't been in and that his prescription expired! I let her know, somewhat tersely, that I was aware and I had been trying to call since May and hadn't heard back from the doctor's office despite all my messages! The pharmacist's response was that maybe I needed to go in to the walk-in clinic for a prescription renewal. *sigh*
I did get him an appointment with our regular doctor instead of having to go see someone at a clinic and needing to go over all the little details, ugh! But then two days after that, the pharmacist called me to let me know that one of the cardiologist's associates approved our medication, yay! Oh! And that afternoon, I finally got a hold of the receptionist! And I was nice and polite and didn't tell her how frustrated I was at her never calling me back! Instead I let her book the appointment for next month (when Dr H is back) in her cheery voice! So at least that is done!!!
Yeah. My Dad comes from Old School thinking.
I think it's great that he can be so accepting that my son may not be as "smart as others", but this isn't about his intellegence, it's about his being behind by a few years. (as Hunny put it.) For me it's about finding out if there is anything we can do for Rhys, and if there is, let's do it now please!
We don't live like our parents did--where handicapped children were just the "retarded sibling" who couldn't do anything and had no chance. Today we have more resources available. And I'd like to use what I can to get Rhys as caught up as possible!
I wasn't offended or hurt by my Dad's comment. I did appreciate that he was so nonchalant about the whole thing and that it wouldn't be a big deal if Rhys were special needs in the end. But it did make me shake my head. I guess it's a good thing I've got 4 other "smart" children! LOL *smile*
It's hard to explain to family and friends who just don't see it as we do. Sure, R is immature, but so what, right? Maybe they're being kind and making excuses is easier for them. But I made excuses too. It wasn't until I pulled all of his old medical notes and such earlier that I was faced with it. Rhys was at a 30-36ms range when he was 40ms old, according to a Gessel Developmental Stage quiz. (that's 2 1/2-3yrs when he was 3 1/2) I kept saying what everyone else said, "he'll get it one day", or "he has older siblings who help him", and "he's a boy!" But finally I had to stop and realize that he HADN'T caught up. And I don't know if he will or not. He may always be immature, but then finally "get it". I don't know. But as a parent, I need to know what are the expectations. When he screeches at me and wails "nooooo!" at every answer he doesn't want to hear or seem to understand, is this something that I need to correct or is it something that comes with his undiagnosed issue?
In May, Dr T added another label to Rhys' chart. She didn't tell me, of course. I just saw that it was written on the requisition for bloodwork. She wrote that he was FTT (failure to thrive. ugh I hate that title) and GDD. That one made me stop. I had been looking at Global Developmental Delay for some time, but I had always shrugged it off that I didn't think he was. He could do more than what was listed, I was sure! But then I found this list on Kids Growth, and my heart hurt.
A Global Developmental Delay is a general term used to describe a condition
that occurs during the developmental period of a child's life (birth to age
18).
Common signs may include:
- delayed acquisition of milestones: the child is late in sitting up, crawling, walking
- limited reasoning or conceptual abilities
- fine/gross motor difficulties
- poor social skills/judgment
- aggressive behaviour as a coping skill
- communication problems
But since she didn't mention this to me at all, I don't know what to do. What does it mean? What should I be doing? ARGH!
********
This week we had our monthly visit with Dr T, except that it wasn't her, it was her locum; she's off having her 3rd child. This doctor came from the Children's hospital and had an agreeable disposition which I liked and trusted. I don't know if I'll see him again though, since he gave us a month off for our next appointment! We don't go back until September! Woohoo! (see, I told you they are running out of things to do for him!) The doctor wants me to contact the Centre for Child Development again to make sure we are on the wait list for preschool, just to keep our name out there and to confirm with them that he is attending preschool and not kindergarten. But I feel torn about this. See, as much as it would maybe be good to be at the Centre, it just does not fit in with scheduling. The Olders attend school in Langley, and the Centre is in the complete opposite direction in Surrey. There is no possible way I could make it for the morning class, or make it to pick up the Olders from school on time if R were in the afternoon class. Which is why we decided to go with the preschool that is at the school the Olders attend. But I struggled with the thoughts that if we truly were interested in Rhys' best, we'd make it work for him to go to the preschool at the Centre (if we were to get a spot, that is)...oh the Mommy Guilt!
At first, Dr N wanted me to contact the Speech Therapist about getting him back in for a consult. They saw him last in December and said that he was doing fine and that we could take the winter off. They'd contact us again in March. Except they didn't, and I didn't call them either since we were busy with Dr T and he was speaking so much better. (and, frankly I was annoyed with them!) But now he is five and I don't know if he's "graduated" from their program or not, or could he go back since technically he isn't registered at any school for the Fall? (you leave Speech once you start school, so you either graduate and are now at par with your peers, or you seek private ST, which is what we had to do for Kai.) They should've contacted us again since he was turning five and starting kindergarten age, as they like to work hardest on the older kids in the spring. But I'm sure if I call them, they'll make it out to be me who should've called them. *sigh* So I wasn't looking forward to that. But then Dr N decided to not have me call the ST, but to call the Centre. I'm trying to decide which one I'd rather do!
Regarding his stool test, everything is normal. Yay. Not too sure what that means regarding his elevated IgE, but I'm not going to worry about it. So far everything is coming back normal. Which is great in that he's not unhealthy, but it's sad in that we don't have anything else to go on.
*********
In other good news, I FINALLY got a hold of Kai's cardiology reception! I had only been trying to contact them since the end of May! I had left so many messages on their machine; I was starting to get rather ticked off! I had our doctor fax in our referral to see the cardiologist (and I know that would've been done that afternoon, as her receptionist, Theresa, is good!) and so I was just waiting for a date for our appointment. Except, things got even more frustrating.
Kai needed refills on his prescriptions. (he's taking Ramipril and Carvedilol currently) but when I called our pharmacy, his one medication had expired! Oh great! So I added that to my message on the cardiologist machine! Two days later. the pharmacist called me to say that they couldn't refill it because our cardiologist was on holidays, and oh, it was time for Kai to go back in for his annual checkup! I admit that I was a *bit* annoyed at the pharmacist for informing me of that, as if it were my fault he hadn't been in and that his prescription expired! I let her know, somewhat tersely, that I was aware and I had been trying to call since May and hadn't heard back from the doctor's office despite all my messages! The pharmacist's response was that maybe I needed to go in to the walk-in clinic for a prescription renewal. *sigh*
I did get him an appointment with our regular doctor instead of having to go see someone at a clinic and needing to go over all the little details, ugh! But then two days after that, the pharmacist called me to let me know that one of the cardiologist's associates approved our medication, yay! Oh! And that afternoon, I finally got a hold of the receptionist! And I was nice and polite and didn't tell her how frustrated I was at her never calling me back! Instead I let her book the appointment for next month (when Dr H is back) in her cheery voice! So at least that is done!!!
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