lies vs. truth

What is it about the truth that makes it so hard to tell? Why is it that you feel worse after telling the truth than if you had lied?

I had to tell my friend tonight that I wasn't going to go over to her BBQ anymore. I had originally planned to go and was looking forwards to it, but today just hit me hard. I am WIPED. Literally. I mean, I've been having a really hard time keeping my eyes open today! So I am out of energy. Even my desires don't outweigh my energy, which is so disappointing. So I had to cancel.

I could've lied. I could've said that I didn't find a babysitter, sorry. Or that my husband was going out and so I couldn't. Or that I was sick or that one of the kids were sick. Or that we had forgotten or made other plans we had forgotten about. But the truth is, I am too wiped to go, and I stuck with that. But for some reason I felt worse for saying that. I wonder if a lie would've slipped off my tongue easier? Would I have felt a little less guilty? Because cancelling made me feel bad.

I hate the way I feel. I am so sick of being tired. No. WIPED. I am tired of being wiped.