good point

I've joined the woman's group at my church, called "her Community", and I am loving it. It's making me grow, but that's a scary thing! Sounds silly, but you get used to living in your own little box. You stay home, you try hard to raise your children, you fail miserably, you try to reach out to other moms and friends, but it's hard, but you still avoid getting TOO Deep with others. You know what I mean. We all do it. We WANT and long for and desire and NEED to be with others, but we all struggle to do it. Mostly done from fear: fear of being hurt again, fear of looking foolish or "needy", fear of exposing yourself, fear of the unknown, fear of others…. we all hold back. And this is no exception. I wanted to join to get to know other women in my church, to make some friends. After attending our other church for 10 years or so, I realized that I just did not know ANYONE!!!! And they didn't know me!!! It was truely sad. No wonder I didn't like going!!!! :( So I made a choice that if I am to change churches, I'm going to HAVE to step out of my box. And so here I am. Exposing myself. Admitting I'm Needy.

The book we are studying isn't helping, I tell ya! We're reading "Everybody's Normal til you get to know them." by John Ortberg. The first three chapters were TOUGH personally!!!! But it's getting easier…the subjects aren't as personal to me I guess! LOL

Last night, I read chapter's 6 & 7 to prepare for our get together on Friday morning. (I go after I drop Abi off at school, and the boys join the other kids in the childcare provided….although I can hear Bryn crying the whole time, the silly boy!!!!) Chapter 7 was about handling coflict and anger, and I thought Ortberg had a wonderful point I knew I HAD to share here!!!

"Another myth is that the best way to handle anger is to ventilate it. This view was popular among psychologists in the 1960s and 1970s. The idea is that unexpressed anger gets stored upin a kind of inner pshychological reservoir, so when we become angry, the main thing we must do is discharge our feelings. "Get it off your chest," "Blow off some steam." "Let it all hang out." Throw someting, hit something, scream something — ventilate.
"According to this theory, if we don't let the anger fly, it doesn't go away. It builds up like steam inside a tea kettle, and if there's not some release, we will just blow up some day when we least expect it. We become like a volcano, waiting for the "river of rage" inside to overflow.
"Why do we think that way about anger? We don't think that way about other emotions. No one says, "I've been holding in joy all these years; people tell funny jokes, and I just repress all my laughter; I haven't released it and it's been building up inside me. Now the joy dam is about to burst: I"m gonna spew joy all over everybody." Therapists don't say, "You've got to get in touch with your gratitude; for years your parents helped you and sacrificed for you, yet you never learned to verbalize your thankfulness. Now you've got all this gratitude bottled up inside of you, and it's not healthy. You're like a walking time bomb of gratitude. Someday you're going to walk up to people you don't even know — and gush gratitude all over them."

Good point! That analogy made me laugh in the bathtub! Gush Gratitude all over strangers!!! Eep! Imagine the thought!!!! LMBO! *wink* But he has a good point. I mean, how many of us have followed that line of thinking? That you NEED to release your anger, get it out. I know I have. But I also do know the truth of it too: "…aggressive behaviour leads to more, not less, anger and aggression." In this chapter, Ortberg was talking about God's guide to releasing anger. (Matthew 18:15) I won't tell you what else he said, you'll have to get the book yourself. I just wanted to mention the visuals he gave on keeping Other emotions inside!

Don't keep that laughter in!!!! Let those smiles out!!! Be thankful and kind! Wouldn't want it to suddenly spill out at inapropriate times!!!!!

Have a good day!

(Everybody's Normal Til You Get To Know Them. John Ortberg. 2003. Zondervan.)