upcoming kids' class

I have a Stampin' Up! class booked at the end of next week and it's for a girl for her 8th birthday party. I am SOOOO excited! I've never actually done a party for a group of girls, although I have had a few young kids in classes with parents before, so this should be interesting. These are the projects I have designed for the girls. They aren't hard and should be lots of fun for them!



The first thing is the bouncy card. I need to pick up a more "bouncy" wire, but it still looks good the way it is! I got the idea off of Dawn. . You have to see her video. It's really easy to make one yourself….so says the girl who cursed under her breath at the odd sizes to cut and score at!!! LOL

The second is a super cute note. A 3×3 envelope is decorated with a 'floating' vellum butterfly, and you tuck your note into the slit at the top. I love it!

The third project is a bookmark with two flowers which my lovely neighbour helped trace and cut for me today! It's not my favourite work, I'll be honest (the bookmark, not my neighbour's tracing/cutting!) but I still think it's cute and will work for the girls. My 7 year old daughter and her best friend liked it, so that sealed the deal for me!

For the cost of the party, I am including two gifts for the goodie bags for the hostess. Check them out below. I love them!!!




They are candy skewers using SU! NEW trio heart punch. LOVE IT!!! (got that idea off of Andrea HERE. I'll need to find some cellophane bags still.) And the second are pillow boxes from the Big Shot, decorated with the NEW Love You Much stamp. Inside the boxes are more of the trio heart punches and I'm going to add something else still, but I don't know what yet. But it'll be good!

I can't wait for the class! I had so much fun planning this and I so want it to be so much fun for Michaila and her friends. That's what's the important part, right? That the girl has a great time for her birthday; I'm so excited that I get to be a part of it!

I am RUTH

I did this Quiz on Facebook called "Which Biblical Woman are you?" and based on your answers from 6 questions, it tells you whom you resemble. I had some trouble answering two of the questions...one was to pick which Hymn you suit more, and I only knew the one "Amazing Grace", and that wasn't *me*!!! So I guessed! :)

I don't know which women they had for answers, but I do know of Two: ME and my Mom's response (Sarah of Abraham and Sarah) Here is what *I* am:

You are RUTH

You are fiercely loyal to family & friends. You have a heart of compassion, especially for those you feel may be lonely or left out. You are servant-oriented, and very self-sacrificing when you need to be. You also have a teachable spirit that will listen to instruction.

something's changed

Don't you hate it when the blogs you are following don't get updated every day with something new and you check them out with anticipation and end up all disappointed and now wondering what to do with yourself because your whole idea of the evening was to check out blogs but now that there's nothing new on them you don't know what you'll do with yourself??? Yeah, me neither. I was just sayin'.

Those of you who have been following me through my dark tunnel of dispair may be happy to hear that I am starting to see the end of it! And I don't even know HOW or WHY! It just suddenly happened on this past weekend! Well, I think a lot of it was because my hunny stayed home for most of it; that was such a wonderful treat. Now, of course, I didn't FEEL any different towards it until much later, but still… I started out feeling woe-y and Down and EMO-ish (LOL) and pretty much Indifferent. Especially towards my hunny, sad to say. My relationship with him was fast crumbling as my decent into depression gained depth. (something I didn't realize until my sister pointed out something to me. Not that I knew how to stop it though.)

On Saturday, he had to work, of course, but I was partially child-free since MIL took the older three to a Christmas party. So I used that time to pick up a few groceries and then had a nap with Baby Honey, which was nice. That evening, we both were downstairs together. He was on the couch trying to set up my laptop so it's internet ready

(what is the use of a computer or laptop if it doesn't have internet connection???? Seriously now.)

I managed to get my Stampin' Mojo working and made cards. I actually completed the 12 Christmas cards he wanted for his business. Not Bad, considering I didn't have a CLUE what I was going to do for them when I got down there! I even made up 12 matching envelopes too! I rock! And then I made 2 more cards to start off my Mom's gift. (Shh! don't tell her!)

On Sunday, I bowed out of church yet again… don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my church and the pastors and everyone, but with this depression I've been avoiding a LOT of things. For some reason, mustering up the strength to go out to something I like hasn't been easy, so I've missed about 2 months now, which bums me out because I missed the "I'm Sorry" series I really wanted to hear. Hunny wasn't too impressed with me missing out, but was even Less Impressed when I told him I didn't want to go to the Baby Shower that was in honor of myself and 10 other ladies. I just didn't want to....no, couldn't go. My misery doesn't like company.

We had my family over that night for Abi's bday, even though I was so tired and wanted to crash. I love them too much to not have them over! Just being with them makes me happier, even if I can't show it! After they all left and the kids were in bed, Hunny and I were downstaris again working on our own projects in the same room. We weren't conversing. We weren't working together. But we were in the same room! And it felt SO much Better than upstairs when I'm on the computer and he's watching tv just feet away from eachother.

Since then it's been Different. Better. Changed.

I don't know why though. What made it better? I suppose it was just from him being home and with me (albeit not really) and him treating me like nothing's changed with us (even though in my head things had) and showing me love in his actions.

No profound thoughts. No lightening bolts from heaven. No voice from God. Just change.

So Thank-You to all who have been praying for me. God hears and God answers and things are looking up. I know that I am not "out of the woods" yet and that my depression needs to be dealt with still for it to be fully conquered, but for this change I am happy.

it was bound to happen...

I was expecting something traumatic to happen to one of the boys since they are SO incredibly active, but I have to admit that I've been living a pretty blessed life with no major incidents with them. …Until today.

Picture this: two loving brothers playing together in the living room. One with LEGO and the other with his bike. All is great. Mother is able to rest on the couch while they do their thing. Until the older boy decides the bike is in his way. Of course, younger boy does not agree. In his attempt to show his opinions, little brother decides to BITE older brother ON THE HEAD!!!!!! WT???? Older brother climbs on top of Mother, crying. Little boy is crying as well, and holding his bloody mouth. Oh great!

Remember how back in September I had to take Bryn for oral surgery??? Oh, maybe I forgot to mention that. Sorry. But back in September, I had to take Bryn for oral surgery. His two front teeth are damaged with cavities. *shame*blush*I will never live it down or forgive myself* So they were being filled and all that dental-y stuff. Well, it turns out that the over $1000 proceedure wasn't all that necessary….or good. Bryn had managed to Push his one front tooth into the gums!!!!! (hence the bleeding)

At first I thought it wasn't THAT big of a deal…but everytime I saw Bryn, I totally noticed the moved tooth. Plus, he kept rubbing his mouth across his hand and crying. I knew I'd have to get up (dang it! I was totally enjoying my sloth-like ways on the couch!) and get him in to see the dentist. I managed to get him in on an emergency visit within 1/2 hour! (the dentist was impressed with me that I got him in so fast…I guess other mom's wait longer! LOL! Nope, not me; I'm Ms. Vigilent!!!! HAHAHA!!!!)

My first thoughts and worries were correct; his front teeth will have to be removed!!!!!

When we got to the dentist, his other front tooth (not the one that was obviously smushed up in his mouth) was all creepy looking! His filling had fallen off!!! Instead of this nice pretty perfect made-up tooth, there was this bit of off yellow tooth. Just broke my heart. Poor babe. The dentist said he could remove the teeth right then, but I decided sedation was a good way to go! So we're going in first thing in the morning on Thursday (the dentist is even coming in early for us, how nice is that?) and Bryn will have oral sedation, which may or may not put him out. (it may just make him happy and drowsy!) That way, he will not have any memory of this horrible experience. Phew! (I wonder how he'll feel waking up with two missing front teeth???)

The nurse liked to point out to me that "his teeth would normally fall out around age five anyways." Uhm, yeah, great! But he's only TWO!!!! He'll look like some hockey thug with missing teeth for THREE (possibly 4) Years!!!! My poor poor babe. My heart is crushed.

But, I do have to wonder what kind of job was done on the teeth back in September to make the tooth basically shatter just by striking a skull???

Oh, and I noticed later that his hand is full of scratches. Across his thumb and wrist and a bit up the arm. I guess when he was rubbing his mouth often, it was scratching against part of the jagged tooth.

Bryn is such a trooper. He's such a rough boy. Hunny and I laugh that we can see Kai suggesting to try these outrageous stunts, but being too afraid or cautious or smart to do them himself, but Bryn being crazy and brave and adventurous to go for it! Is this just the beginning of a string of incidents for him?

not me monday

This is my first time participating in this, but I found this on a friend's blog, which then brought me to the original blogger of this..and so forth. You can click on the link "MCKMama" to the right for the site. Moving on…. every Monday, she posts "Not Me Monday", which includes a confessional of sorts. It turns out I'm a bit late on making it to Mr. Linky, but whatever! Check out her Not Me! Monday post and see the other blogs linked to it. Not Me! Monday

So here we go…

I did not wake up this morning trying to find an excuse to not take the kids to school just so I could sleep in. Nor did I lay inbed an extra half hour before I finally got up and got the kids dressed and out the door. Nope, that would be lazy and selfish of me!

And I certainly did NOT let my children eat whatever they wanted for breakfast, just as long as they ate. Even if it meant fruit snacks and fruit-by-the-foot sugar snacks! That would just be irresponsible! My kids only eat healthy things for breakfast no matter how much they whine or how late we're running!

There's no way I overspent our Christmas budget shopping either. There just weren't enough cute clotes and fun toys to decide upon, so it was easy keeping my hunny's hard earned $ in my cutesy purse!

I did NOT have a nap today either, virtually having my whole afternoon given to such a selfish act as dreaming and resting my very tired self. And because I didn't nap, I didn't need to go through drive-thru for a late lunch for B & I, whick would've made up almost late picking up the kids from school.

I didn't spend too much $ on my one-and-only daughter on her one-and-only 7th birthday and her best-friend-in-the-world at the Animal Stuffing Place. (sorta like Build-A-Bear) I was strict and didn't let them buy "unnecessary" items!

I haven't stayed up late for no reason at all tonight. Nope. Not me. I'm always in bed on time. Even when I'm not tired. And it's just silly to stay up when you're already tired. Who'd do that? Not me.

something to think about

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son
on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing
him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what
would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son,
"How was the trip?"

It was great, Dad."
Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
Oh yeah," said the son.

So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked
the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and
they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the
stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole
horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have
fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have
friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how
poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you
wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for
everything we have, instead of worrying about
what we don't have.

*untitled*

broken.

lost.

confused.

flustered.

lonely.

failing.

powerless.

unfocused.

sorrowful.

guilty.

lied to.

stuck.

afraid.

pent up.

depressed.

Depression……

Is it "evil spirits"? "Mental imbalance"? "Demonic"? It is an oft misunderstood issue. Can you be "cured" by just having Faith? Exercising? (does anyone remember Tom Cruise's rant on PPD? Oh, don't even get me started….) Laughing more? Is it a mind-over-matter thing? If I Really Believed, would I be healed? Is this because of lack of True faith? Do I not believe He has the power?

I know that my relationship falters during this, but my faith is intact. Do I believe in Him? Yes. Whole heartedly. Do I believe in His power to heal and do miracles? Yes. My faith isn't the issue. Or is it? Do I Really believe He'll heal me? Donno. I know He can, I do not doubt. But what if it isn't a part of His plan for me? Maybe this is my trial. My "thorn in the flesh".

Maybe if it's more than just about faith. My belief isn't the issue, it's my relationship. I can't focus. I can't pray. I can't think. I try; I really do. But nothing. I feel nothing.

So it is mental; a chemical imbalance? Medical proof shows that is real. So if I take my meds all should be fine, right? So why aren't they? How do I get to the point where I no longer need meds?

Am I a mixture of being mentally imbalanced and also having to fight Demons? Are they connected? How do I possibly win? Where do I start?

"There is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear" ~i John 4:18
"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." ~Galatians 5:19-23

Am I without love? Do I lack the Spirit? What is this affliction? Why do I have fear? Where is my Joy, my peace and love and patience?

I just finished reading a wonderful book called "Prison to Praise" by Merlin Carothers about this man who started his early army career doing prison time and ended up becoming a chaplain for the army. In it, he talks about how God lead him to understand the whole "Give Praise in EVERY circumstance". I was really challenged by it. Well, at first I wasn't. I wasn't hard to thank God for things I thought were "tough"…like my strong-willed child, and my screwed up thyroid. But then along came today.

How do I thank Him for THIS???? "Thanks for my mental illness." ???? I feel like I'm mocking or being sarcastic. "thanks that I feel like crap? Thanks that I feel like stone? Thanks that I want to run away?" ???

Thank-you, Father, that I am exactly where you want me to be. Even though I have depression and I feel laden down with no joy and feel like a failure to my children, thank-you. Because I know that even though things are not wonderful, you are still here and you are still caring for me and you are still my God and you are guiding me. Thank-you that I am where you want me to be. Exactly where. THAT is what I am thankful for. I don't know how to be thankful for being depressed and having my emotions out of control and all those other things I stated, but I am trying.

I don't understand depression. I definitely don't understand my body. It lacks the correct chemicals (what is that word for the happy feelings, Julie?) And I allow myself to be lied to on how terrible *I* am because of it. I just want to be able to be In Control again…but maybe I'm not supposed to be. *sigh* It doesn't make sense. Where do I hold back? What do I need to do to take the responsiblity and control I need?

Right now I just feel bogged down and I can't think straight.