needing some help for sanity purposes

Anyone got some suggestions on potty training???? Jonathan and I are at our wits' end with Kai. I just don't understand it. He can be SOAKED, and I mean soaked through his pull up and over his pants, and he still will NOT admit to being wet! Same with being poopy. He can stink to high heaven and it can be disgusting, but no matter what we say or how often, he will NOT agree with us and will fight us about being changed! I just don't know what to do!

I'm trying to be patient b/c everyone says that children will learn on their own (well, with some help, lol) and I've heard that "no one goes to kindergarten in diapers"…but what if they do???? I mean, Kai isn't supposed to be in preschool in pull ups, yet here he is, in his second year and already four, and we're not anywhere closer than we were this time last year. I came across my post back in, what? March? where I was thinking he'd be potty trained by summer??? *sigh* No such luck.

He has progressed to the point that he WILL pee in the potty …IF he's naked!!!! He got some cute Spiderman undies for Christmas, and at Grandma's and Grandpa's, he managed to use the potty there while wearing them, which is another step forwards. But put pants on the kid and it doesn't matter! I had him in padded undies and pants and he peed and pooped in them! :( I was disappointed. He didn't even seem to care. *sigh*

I'm seriously looking for some advice here.