Sunday, May 13, 2007
Today is Mother's Day in North America and to tell you the truth, I've never been entirely comfortable with the idea that *I* got to celebrate it. I guess I've never felt 'motherly' or something. That I couldn't compare to My wonderful Mother. There was so much I could do to improve, you know? Then there's the whole feeling of not being able to believe you're actually a mother! I mean, how strange is that? It's one thing to have a baby and a little family, but to actually be included with the other mothers in the world? Are you serious??? It makes me feel…strange. Old. But this year I'm feeling much better about it. I guess it's because Abi is old enough to understand it better, so I can actually feel that it's something of HER ideas not just following along b/c Daddy tells them to.
This morning, Jonathan took both Abi & Kai out for Tim Horton's donuts & yogurt for breakfast with his Mom, so I got to sleep in. (and that was nice. When Bryn woke up at 1am for a bottle, he stayed awake until 2am, which was annoying!!! … I did keep hearing the silly clock radio this morning, though! I have it set to the radio instead of a buzz to wake me up. I was too tired to actually get up, so I fell in and out of sleep with it on! LOL) When they returned, they came into the room saying "Happy Mother's Day!" and Abi had this beautiful bouquet of flowers for me and Kai was carrying a gift bag with card. The gift I got was small but perfect! A new cutter blade and scoring blade for my trimmer!!! Yay! I need those! *grin* I feel so warm and blessed and thank God for what I have. I love my children. No doubt about it!
It's funny to think of today. Last year was so different. I was in a different place and full of grief still. I remember having a conversation with a friend about Mother's Day as she was in the same place. We both had children and a lot to feel thankful and blessed for, but our hearts were heavy with loss. We were both surrounded by friends who couldn't seem to have children and it was hard; we were a part of an online support group for women (and men) who had ectopic pregnancies. (I had two with my left tube being removed after the second) It was such a wonderful group for me to be a part of and I met some wonderful ladies and have made lasting friendships that mean the world to me. I am blessed to have found the group. But it's also hard to be reminded of why we were there. And Mother's Day is tough.
It's such a tragedy that on Mother's Day we forget those who ARE Mother's… but only in spirit. I am a mother of 5, even though I only have 3 on earth to show it. I have some friends who are mothers of only angels and I grieve for the pain they must feel when the world puts all this attention on physical mothers and children. What is a mother? Certainly not one who has a child to hold. It is anyone who has held one in her heart, who loved, cared, comforted, shared and molded with her love.
So to those mothers without someone to hold, I am thinking of you and knowing that God is holding you in his arms and comforting your broken hearts.
This morning, Jonathan took both Abi & Kai out for Tim Horton's donuts & yogurt for breakfast with his Mom, so I got to sleep in. (and that was nice. When Bryn woke up at 1am for a bottle, he stayed awake until 2am, which was annoying!!! … I did keep hearing the silly clock radio this morning, though! I have it set to the radio instead of a buzz to wake me up. I was too tired to actually get up, so I fell in and out of sleep with it on! LOL) When they returned, they came into the room saying "Happy Mother's Day!" and Abi had this beautiful bouquet of flowers for me and Kai was carrying a gift bag with card. The gift I got was small but perfect! A new cutter blade and scoring blade for my trimmer!!! Yay! I need those! *grin* I feel so warm and blessed and thank God for what I have. I love my children. No doubt about it!
It's funny to think of today. Last year was so different. I was in a different place and full of grief still. I remember having a conversation with a friend about Mother's Day as she was in the same place. We both had children and a lot to feel thankful and blessed for, but our hearts were heavy with loss. We were both surrounded by friends who couldn't seem to have children and it was hard; we were a part of an online support group for women (and men) who had ectopic pregnancies. (I had two with my left tube being removed after the second) It was such a wonderful group for me to be a part of and I met some wonderful ladies and have made lasting friendships that mean the world to me. I am blessed to have found the group. But it's also hard to be reminded of why we were there. And Mother's Day is tough.
It's such a tragedy that on Mother's Day we forget those who ARE Mother's… but only in spirit. I am a mother of 5, even though I only have 3 on earth to show it. I have some friends who are mothers of only angels and I grieve for the pain they must feel when the world puts all this attention on physical mothers and children. What is a mother? Certainly not one who has a child to hold. It is anyone who has held one in her heart, who loved, cared, comforted, shared and molded with her love.
So to those mothers without someone to hold, I am thinking of you and knowing that God is holding you in his arms and comforting your broken hearts.
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