Sunday, January 27, 2008
I got the nicest compliment on Friday when I was picking up Abi from school. It came from another mom of one of Abi's classmates (and her "boyfriend", teehee….her words!!!) She told me that whenever she sees me, I'm always happy and smiling and that I make her day! Ahhhh! That has got to be the nicest thing I've heard in a while! And from a "stranger" too…I know her in such that I've talked to her before, but not personally, if that makes sense. The nicest thing about it is that I don't FEEL smiley or even happy. I don't feel terrible either, but I've had my share of constant nausea that has kept the joy from me in many ways. It's drained me of all energy, this pregnancy, and I've lost my taste for food, and I feel so ill all the time. Even with Diclectin things aren't better. :( But I am 15w now, so I"m hoping that my magic number is 16…which is has been for the other pregnancies; my nausea ended by week 16. So only a bit further to go.
Along the same lines…these colds don't seem to want to fully disappear either, which has really been tough on me. I"m sick of being sick!!!! I feel frustrated about the way things are right now! :( I"m praying for extra ounces of energy and for this bug to finally leave the house. Poor Kai coughs and chokes and it's terrible sounding.
But on to good news! Abi lost another tooth!!!! Now both her bottom teeth are missing and there's a big gap! It's so cute!!! It's also surreal. To think that she's that OLD, you know? That's she's growing up. She really IS exiting those "baby" years, isn't she, and becoming a "big girl"? It's exciting, but so sad. Time flies faster now!!!
Here's her pic with her one tooth missing. What a cutie!!!
Along the same lines…these colds don't seem to want to fully disappear either, which has really been tough on me. I"m sick of being sick!!!! I feel frustrated about the way things are right now! :( I"m praying for extra ounces of energy and for this bug to finally leave the house. Poor Kai coughs and chokes and it's terrible sounding.
But on to good news! Abi lost another tooth!!!! Now both her bottom teeth are missing and there's a big gap! It's so cute!!! It's also surreal. To think that she's that OLD, you know? That's she's growing up. She really IS exiting those "baby" years, isn't she, and becoming a "big girl"? It's exciting, but so sad. Time flies faster now!!!
Here's her pic with her one tooth missing. What a cutie!!!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Anyone got some suggestions on potty training???? Jonathan and I are at our wits' end with Kai. I just don't understand it. He can be SOAKED, and I mean soaked through his pull up and over his pants, and he still will NOT admit to being wet! Same with being poopy. He can stink to high heaven and it can be disgusting, but no matter what we say or how often, he will NOT agree with us and will fight us about being changed! I just don't know what to do!
I'm trying to be patient b/c everyone says that children will learn on their own (well, with some help, lol) and I've heard that "no one goes to kindergarten in diapers"…but what if they do???? I mean, Kai isn't supposed to be in preschool in pull ups, yet here he is, in his second year and already four, and we're not anywhere closer than we were this time last year. I came across my post back in, what? March? where I was thinking he'd be potty trained by summer??? *sigh* No such luck.
He has progressed to the point that he WILL pee in the potty …IF he's naked!!!! He got some cute Spiderman undies for Christmas, and at Grandma's and Grandpa's, he managed to use the potty there while wearing them, which is another step forwards. But put pants on the kid and it doesn't matter! I had him in padded undies and pants and he peed and pooped in them! :( I was disappointed. He didn't even seem to care. *sigh*
I'm seriously looking for some advice here.
I'm trying to be patient b/c everyone says that children will learn on their own (well, with some help, lol) and I've heard that "no one goes to kindergarten in diapers"…but what if they do???? I mean, Kai isn't supposed to be in preschool in pull ups, yet here he is, in his second year and already four, and we're not anywhere closer than we were this time last year. I came across my post back in, what? March? where I was thinking he'd be potty trained by summer??? *sigh* No such luck.
He has progressed to the point that he WILL pee in the potty …IF he's naked!!!! He got some cute Spiderman undies for Christmas, and at Grandma's and Grandpa's, he managed to use the potty there while wearing them, which is another step forwards. But put pants on the kid and it doesn't matter! I had him in padded undies and pants and he peed and pooped in them! :( I was disappointed. He didn't even seem to care. *sigh*
I'm seriously looking for some advice here.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Oh Joy! You'd think I'd be better prepared for Winter seeing as every year we're all sick and I'm usually the one hit worse. (roll eyes) I meant to get the Flu Shot too! Oops. I wonder if it's too late? But this cold or flu or whatever it is has been lingering around since the week before Christmas!!! Abi missed her last week of school because of it (well, all except the Tues). It just doesn't want to go away! I can't wait for warmer weather so we can open up the house and clean and get well! I'm ready for Spring!!!
Wait a minute…. did I say "Morning Sickness"???
*big innocent grin*
Yes, I did! On Christmas Eve, I went in for an ultrasound to confirm what I'd already known since sometime Novemeber: we are expecting our Fourth Child!!! And I couldn't be more excited!!! …well, I could, if I weren't so darn ILL!!!! Ugh!!! At least I haven't thrown up yet. But it sure SUCKS being nauseated All Day Long! :( That mixed with a cold… yuck!
We are just in our 11th week…or is it 11 weeks along, and into our 12th week? Well, whatever. As far as I can count, our EDD is July 20th. But I'm sure I'll only go until June. Just a feeling, but maybe I"m being pessimistic!
I'm very proud of myself for keeping it a secret for so long too. We didn't tell any of our family until Christmas, although I did tell the kids' teachers (it's hard not to when you're feeling like you're going to puke and you're looking ill). It wasn't easy keeping it quiet. I wanted to tell some people Immediately! (especially after I found out that some friends are also due around the same time) But by keeping it just to ourselves, it gave Jonathan and I a chance to just have an "US Secret" and that was special. We we able to talk about it and share our excitement. It's nice having that with your husband. I tend to talk to my friends and family more quickly than him, as they're more assessable, and that's too bad.
Now, there was also another reason for keeping it to ourselves, and I'll be honest by saying it's because we have had some friends who have been negative about our wanting another child. Yes, yes, I've heard it many times that it's "our decision and no one else' business", yet the same people who tell me that also tell me that we should wait, it's best to not have more, it's all b/c they're concerned… blah blah blah. So if that's true, why do I have to feel so Wrong when we do have this blessing? Because this IS a blessing. As much as some people want to try to convince me it isn't, this was NOT a planned pregnancy. I don't have to explain myself to anyone, yet I feel I have to, and that hurts. No one can understand why I feel the way I do, I expect there to be many who think I'm crazy and wanton in my faith, but it's MY faith and what it means to me. I firmly believe that God has blessed me and I would not be pregnant if it wasn't in His plan. If you can't respect me in that belief, you are entitled to that, but you are also able to keep your own mouth shut.
*sigh* This has obviously been bothering me for some time! But to be honest, this excitement of a new baby has been marred a bit. We have been pleasantly surprised by some response of support and excitement, but sadly disappointed with the ones where we get the "are you crazy" etc response. Yes, as a matter of fact, we ARE crazy. If wanting a large family is crazy! Sheesh, it's not like we're on our 7th or something! We hardly qualify for those TLC shows on the dozen kids!!!!
But, putting all negativity aside, we are having a baby!!!! And both Jonathan & I are excited! I was actually surprised at how excited and supportive he was! But he's been great! I am blessed in so many ways!
Here is our newest addition so far:
The head is on the left, with it's bum on the right. I got to see the arms and legs kicking too. So fascinating! Yay for little babies!!! …now if only I could get over this sickness.
Wait a minute…. did I say "Morning Sickness"???
*big innocent grin*
Yes, I did! On Christmas Eve, I went in for an ultrasound to confirm what I'd already known since sometime Novemeber: we are expecting our Fourth Child!!! And I couldn't be more excited!!! …well, I could, if I weren't so darn ILL!!!! Ugh!!! At least I haven't thrown up yet. But it sure SUCKS being nauseated All Day Long! :( That mixed with a cold… yuck!
We are just in our 11th week…or is it 11 weeks along, and into our 12th week? Well, whatever. As far as I can count, our EDD is July 20th. But I'm sure I'll only go until June. Just a feeling, but maybe I"m being pessimistic!
I'm very proud of myself for keeping it a secret for so long too. We didn't tell any of our family until Christmas, although I did tell the kids' teachers (it's hard not to when you're feeling like you're going to puke and you're looking ill). It wasn't easy keeping it quiet. I wanted to tell some people Immediately! (especially after I found out that some friends are also due around the same time) But by keeping it just to ourselves, it gave Jonathan and I a chance to just have an "US Secret" and that was special. We we able to talk about it and share our excitement. It's nice having that with your husband. I tend to talk to my friends and family more quickly than him, as they're more assessable, and that's too bad.
Now, there was also another reason for keeping it to ourselves, and I'll be honest by saying it's because we have had some friends who have been negative about our wanting another child. Yes, yes, I've heard it many times that it's "our decision and no one else' business", yet the same people who tell me that also tell me that we should wait, it's best to not have more, it's all b/c they're concerned… blah blah blah. So if that's true, why do I have to feel so Wrong when we do have this blessing? Because this IS a blessing. As much as some people want to try to convince me it isn't, this was NOT a planned pregnancy. I don't have to explain myself to anyone, yet I feel I have to, and that hurts. No one can understand why I feel the way I do, I expect there to be many who think I'm crazy and wanton in my faith, but it's MY faith and what it means to me. I firmly believe that God has blessed me and I would not be pregnant if it wasn't in His plan. If you can't respect me in that belief, you are entitled to that, but you are also able to keep your own mouth shut.
*sigh* This has obviously been bothering me for some time! But to be honest, this excitement of a new baby has been marred a bit. We have been pleasantly surprised by some response of support and excitement, but sadly disappointed with the ones where we get the "are you crazy" etc response. Yes, as a matter of fact, we ARE crazy. If wanting a large family is crazy! Sheesh, it's not like we're on our 7th or something! We hardly qualify for those TLC shows on the dozen kids!!!!
But, putting all negativity aside, we are having a baby!!!! And both Jonathan & I are excited! I was actually surprised at how excited and supportive he was! But he's been great! I am blessed in so many ways!
Here is our newest addition so far:
The head is on the left, with it's bum on the right. I got to see the arms and legs kicking too. So fascinating! Yay for little babies!!! …now if only I could get over this sickness.
Monday, December 31, 2007
…and didn't even know it!!! *blush*
I was tagged by Korinne.
Here are the rules:1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you. 2. Post these rules on your blog. 3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself 4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. 5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog. (even though Korinne didn't tell me she tagged me…lol, that's okay, I likely won't do that either, lol)
I thought this would be hard, but it was surprisingly easier than I thought.
1) I dislike going to bed. I don't know why, but I always have. I HATE going to bed at night. Not too sure if it's b/c there's so much left to do in the day, a fear of the dark and of danger, or a mixture of both. I told DH tonight that he would hate it too if every time he went to bed he didn't fall asleep! And I think that has a lot of truth to it too. I've just never been blessed with being able to fall asleep easy. I suppose it's good when you have children that wake up in the night still and you need to be able to tend to them…but it sure gets tiring. :( ….now give me a good pillow and blankie in the DAYTIME and I'm good to go! I have NO PROBLEM napping…go figure!!!!
2)I can not draw a straight line. Not on my own and not even with a ruler. It's quite sad, this inability. A bit embarrassing as well.
3)I could live off of pasta. I could eat it every day. I would if my husband would let me!!!! …of course, I'd be fat and I wouldn't be eating balanced, but that's besides the point.
4)I am growing a fear of water. I don't have a reason for it, but it grows as I age. I literally shudder whenever I am near it…which is funny. I can walk along the water's edge, that's "safe"…but put me on a bridge or a pier and I have to concentrate REAL HARD so I don't scare myself silly. I am Terrified whenever the kids go out on the boat with their dad and I actually MUST look away. The idea of them falling into the water scares me b/c then I"D have to jump in to save them!!!! The whole thing is quite silly. I have no idea what is so frightening about water to me! I can swim. I like swimming, in fact….in a pool!!!!
5)I like to be dizzy…or I used to! My favourite toy on the playground was the Tire Swing, followed by the "sickmobile" (or whatever it's called. That's what we called it!) I loved to spin and spin and spin! What fun! I would even drink enough to get to the stage of dizziness, then stop, because that's what I liked! I liked feeling intoxicated and silly without being really Drunk! Imagine how sad I was when this past summer I discovered I can't spin anymore!!!! Abi pushed me on a Tire Swing, and the world wouldn't stop moving, despite my pleas, and I had to put my head between my legs…truely sad. I have gotten OLDER!!!!!
6)I am a "homebody". If I didn't have to, I wouldn't go out anywhere! (which explains the paleness of my skin, lol) I don't like going out. I'd rather curl up on the couch and read a book, or write, or listen to music. I don't want to go shopping, or go for a walk, or anything like that. I'll go outside and lay in the sun…if I can do my "inside" things!
7) I am a worst-case scenario girl. I like to know what the details are, ALL of them, so I can make informed decisions and opinions. I am a very positive person though, which sounds strange. I just like to know the "what ifs" or "what could happen"…it makes me feel more "in control" and I can anticipate better.
So, there you have it. I hope it was "random" and "weird" enough for you!!!!…not likely, but oh well. This is what spilled out off the top of my head! Now for MY tags! I don't think I'll tag 7 (seeing as I don't think I know 7 with blogs who read mine regularly)… so I'm just going to tag Janette, Sara and Erin. We'll see who notices! ;)
I was tagged by Korinne.
Here are the rules:1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you. 2. Post these rules on your blog. 3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself 4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. 5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog. (even though Korinne didn't tell me she tagged me…lol, that's okay, I likely won't do that either, lol)
I thought this would be hard, but it was surprisingly easier than I thought.
1) I dislike going to bed. I don't know why, but I always have. I HATE going to bed at night. Not too sure if it's b/c there's so much left to do in the day, a fear of the dark and of danger, or a mixture of both. I told DH tonight that he would hate it too if every time he went to bed he didn't fall asleep! And I think that has a lot of truth to it too. I've just never been blessed with being able to fall asleep easy. I suppose it's good when you have children that wake up in the night still and you need to be able to tend to them…but it sure gets tiring. :( ….now give me a good pillow and blankie in the DAYTIME and I'm good to go! I have NO PROBLEM napping…go figure!!!!
2)I can not draw a straight line. Not on my own and not even with a ruler. It's quite sad, this inability. A bit embarrassing as well.
3)I could live off of pasta. I could eat it every day. I would if my husband would let me!!!! …of course, I'd be fat and I wouldn't be eating balanced, but that's besides the point.
4)I am growing a fear of water. I don't have a reason for it, but it grows as I age. I literally shudder whenever I am near it…which is funny. I can walk along the water's edge, that's "safe"…but put me on a bridge or a pier and I have to concentrate REAL HARD so I don't scare myself silly. I am Terrified whenever the kids go out on the boat with their dad and I actually MUST look away. The idea of them falling into the water scares me b/c then I"D have to jump in to save them!!!! The whole thing is quite silly. I have no idea what is so frightening about water to me! I can swim. I like swimming, in fact….in a pool!!!!
5)I like to be dizzy…or I used to! My favourite toy on the playground was the Tire Swing, followed by the "sickmobile" (or whatever it's called. That's what we called it!) I loved to spin and spin and spin! What fun! I would even drink enough to get to the stage of dizziness, then stop, because that's what I liked! I liked feeling intoxicated and silly without being really Drunk! Imagine how sad I was when this past summer I discovered I can't spin anymore!!!! Abi pushed me on a Tire Swing, and the world wouldn't stop moving, despite my pleas, and I had to put my head between my legs…truely sad. I have gotten OLDER!!!!!
6)I am a "homebody". If I didn't have to, I wouldn't go out anywhere! (which explains the paleness of my skin, lol) I don't like going out. I'd rather curl up on the couch and read a book, or write, or listen to music. I don't want to go shopping, or go for a walk, or anything like that. I'll go outside and lay in the sun…if I can do my "inside" things!
7) I am a worst-case scenario girl. I like to know what the details are, ALL of them, so I can make informed decisions and opinions. I am a very positive person though, which sounds strange. I just like to know the "what ifs" or "what could happen"…it makes me feel more "in control" and I can anticipate better.
So, there you have it. I hope it was "random" and "weird" enough for you!!!!…not likely, but oh well. This is what spilled out off the top of my head! Now for MY tags! I don't think I'll tag 7 (seeing as I don't think I know 7 with blogs who read mine regularly)… so I'm just going to tag Janette, Sara and Erin. We'll see who notices! ;)
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
WHY JESUS IS BETTER THAN
SANTA CLAUS!
Santa lives at the North Pole.
JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh.
JESUS rides on the wind and
walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year.
JESUS is our ever-present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies.
JESUS supplies all your needs.
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited.
JESUS stands at your door and knocks,
and then enters your heart when invited.
You have to wait in line to see Santa.
JESUS is as close as the mention
of His name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap.
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
Santa doesn't know your name,
all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl,
what's your name?"
JESUS knew our name
even before we were born.
Not only does He know our name,
He knows our address too.
He knows our history and future.
He even knows how many hairs
are on our heads.
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly.
JESUS has a heart full of love.
All Santa can offer is
"HO HO HO"
JESUS offers health,
help and "hope."
Santa says
"You better not cry".
JESUS says
"Cast all your cares on me
for I care for you."
Santa may make you chuckle.
JESUS gives you joy
that is your strength.
While Santa puts gifts
under your tree.
JESUS became our gift and
He died on a tree.. The cross!
We need to put Christ back in CHRISTmas!
Jesus is still the Reason for the Season.
May you have a
Blessed
Celebration of Jesus'
Birth!!
SANTA CLAUS!
Santa lives at the North Pole.
JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh.
JESUS rides on the wind and
walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year.
JESUS is our ever-present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies.
JESUS supplies all your needs.
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited.
JESUS stands at your door and knocks,
and then enters your heart when invited.
You have to wait in line to see Santa.
JESUS is as close as the mention
of His name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap.
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
Santa doesn't know your name,
all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl,
what's your name?"
JESUS knew our name
even before we were born.
Not only does He know our name,
He knows our address too.
He knows our history and future.
He even knows how many hairs
are on our heads.
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly.
JESUS has a heart full of love.
All Santa can offer is
"HO HO HO"
JESUS offers health,
help and "hope."
Santa says
"You better not cry".
JESUS says
"Cast all your cares on me
for I care for you."
Santa may make you chuckle.
JESUS gives you joy
that is your strength.
While Santa puts gifts
under your tree.
JESUS became our gift and
He died on a tree.. The cross!
We need to put Christ back in CHRISTmas!
Jesus is still the Reason for the Season.
May you have a
Blessed
Celebration of Jesus'
Birth!!
For God so loved the world,
that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in Him
should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
~~Merry Christmas!!~~
that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in Him
should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
~~Merry Christmas!!~~
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
I don't even know what to say….but I'm sure I could rant about this for hours!!! Did anyone else see this news?
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1695735,00.html?cnn=yes
A Dutch diplomat adopted a 4 month old girl from South Korea with his wife 7 years ago. Now they have "returned" her. Last year, they put her into the care of the Social Welfare Department of Hong Kong, where he is posted.
Is anyone else incensed over this??? Does this make anyone else's heart shatter and make you cry for that little girl. She was four months old when adopted, so this is the only family she has ever known, and now at 7, she is being discarded from them, like an animal. They say that she "never adjusted" to their family. They had SEVEN YEARS!!! How is that possible when she had Nothing To Adjust to???? I am so angry at them for this!!!! How can they do this to a little orphan girl and not wrestle with their conscience? What ever happened to the idea that she was adopted and legally a part of their FAMILY now?
This breaks my heart. Please remember Jade in your prayers that she will find a family (a REAL one) who will truely LOVE her and Keep her. I have no other words about this couple. Shame on them.
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1695735,00.html?cnn=yes
A Dutch diplomat adopted a 4 month old girl from South Korea with his wife 7 years ago. Now they have "returned" her. Last year, they put her into the care of the Social Welfare Department of Hong Kong, where he is posted.
Is anyone else incensed over this??? Does this make anyone else's heart shatter and make you cry for that little girl. She was four months old when adopted, so this is the only family she has ever known, and now at 7, she is being discarded from them, like an animal. They say that she "never adjusted" to their family. They had SEVEN YEARS!!! How is that possible when she had Nothing To Adjust to???? I am so angry at them for this!!!! How can they do this to a little orphan girl and not wrestle with their conscience? What ever happened to the idea that she was adopted and legally a part of their FAMILY now?
This breaks my heart. Please remember Jade in your prayers that she will find a family (a REAL one) who will truely LOVE her and Keep her. I have no other words about this couple. Shame on them.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Strange to think of, but Six Years Ago, I was laying in a hospital bed, trying to deal with incredible back pain, while my sister and my husband both read "the Hobbit" to pass time!!!!! LOL I was in labor—but not in labor. Things obviously weren't progressing much in way of contractions coming closer together, but the pain was getting intense. My back was in SO Much Pain, that by one in the morning, I had finally caved in and asked for some Demerol!!! I wasn't planning to use that pain control option as I heard how it made my friend puke and my Mom spacey, but well, I was feeling desperate! Baby was "sunny side up" and we didn't know!!! So at this time (almost 11pm) I had already sent my sister home for some sleep, and was about to send Jonathan home as well since we were all so exhausted! Man, being in constant pain and being TOTALLY out of it and in a drug haze all alone is NOT something I would recommend to anyone!!!! (it was supposed to help me sleep…..it didn't)
Strange to think that this all happened Six Years Ago. Stranger how this is all coming back to me stronger tonight than any other year. But as we prepare to celebrate Abi's Sixth birthday tomorrow, I am remembering the whole process and her arrival and just how wonderful it was in the end. Totally worth it! ;) (at least, enough to make me want to do it all over again, several times, lol. Isn't it neat and wonderful and totally smart of God to create us women to be that way? To desire to go through the whole painful process for another child, to think that it was worth it in the end, to believe that the pain wasn't "that bad afterall" LOL)
Abi still delights me. I am constantly telling her about how much we wanted her, how I prayed and prayed for her to come, and how God blessed us with her at just the perfect moment, and how special she is to us. She is becoming immune to it now, and just smiles and says things like, "I know!" hahaha. Good to know that she's confident in herself and her position in our family! I just want to make sure she doesn't wonder, doesn't feel left out, or starts to question her being. I don't know how to make a child self confident or how to make them feel strong. I don't know if it is something that can be taught or something that is just passed down in our genes, but I've noticed that my mom and I both have a sense of self conciousness and low self esteem. My sister has that a bit too. Now, of course there are times where we've all been strong and felt powerful in ourselves, our beings, our talents…but for the most I'm noticing that my selfworth isn't as high as it 'should' be. And it makes me wonder why that is. It certainly can't be blamed on my parents! My mom did everything she could to show me love! I have a lot of happy childhood memories! (or course, there are the bad ones too, the sad ones, the ones where your parents didn't get you that pony or take you for piano lessons, lol) So where does it come from? Is it something we decide on our own? Or something that is passed down in genetics? Or something altogether different? I am trying to instill in Abi a sense of not only, Being, but in knowing that she is Special to us, her family, and to God. That no matter what she does, she is important to us all. Maybe that's all I can do. Maybe the rest is up to her. I don't know. But I do know that if I could, I'd hold her all day and cuddle her and remind her! :) (funny how I want to hold her all the time NOW, yet six years ago, sortof, I was so stressed out b/c all SHE wanted was that and all I wanted was some time free to myself! LOL)
Six years ago, Abigail 'tHart entered this world, a total blessing, miracle and gift from God. I asked and asked, (actually more like begged and pleaded and cried) for an Abi, and He sent her. (so be careful what you wish for, hahaha!) I am so lucky!
Strange to think that this all happened Six Years Ago. Stranger how this is all coming back to me stronger tonight than any other year. But as we prepare to celebrate Abi's Sixth birthday tomorrow, I am remembering the whole process and her arrival and just how wonderful it was in the end. Totally worth it! ;) (at least, enough to make me want to do it all over again, several times, lol. Isn't it neat and wonderful and totally smart of God to create us women to be that way? To desire to go through the whole painful process for another child, to think that it was worth it in the end, to believe that the pain wasn't "that bad afterall" LOL)
Abi still delights me. I am constantly telling her about how much we wanted her, how I prayed and prayed for her to come, and how God blessed us with her at just the perfect moment, and how special she is to us. She is becoming immune to it now, and just smiles and says things like, "I know!" hahaha. Good to know that she's confident in herself and her position in our family! I just want to make sure she doesn't wonder, doesn't feel left out, or starts to question her being. I don't know how to make a child self confident or how to make them feel strong. I don't know if it is something that can be taught or something that is just passed down in our genes, but I've noticed that my mom and I both have a sense of self conciousness and low self esteem. My sister has that a bit too. Now, of course there are times where we've all been strong and felt powerful in ourselves, our beings, our talents…but for the most I'm noticing that my selfworth isn't as high as it 'should' be. And it makes me wonder why that is. It certainly can't be blamed on my parents! My mom did everything she could to show me love! I have a lot of happy childhood memories! (or course, there are the bad ones too, the sad ones, the ones where your parents didn't get you that pony or take you for piano lessons, lol) So where does it come from? Is it something we decide on our own? Or something that is passed down in genetics? Or something altogether different? I am trying to instill in Abi a sense of not only, Being, but in knowing that she is Special to us, her family, and to God. That no matter what she does, she is important to us all. Maybe that's all I can do. Maybe the rest is up to her. I don't know. But I do know that if I could, I'd hold her all day and cuddle her and remind her! :) (funny how I want to hold her all the time NOW, yet six years ago, sortof, I was so stressed out b/c all SHE wanted was that and all I wanted was some time free to myself! LOL)
Six years ago, Abigail 'tHart entered this world, a total blessing, miracle and gift from God. I asked and asked, (actually more like begged and pleaded and cried) for an Abi, and He sent her. (so be careful what you wish for, hahaha!) I am so lucky!
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