Sunday, May 31, 2009

just playing around

hello blogger world! I got an account with Blogger so that I could read a friend's private blog, but now she doesn't seem to have it anymore. (go figure) I have my own blog through WordPress, but while I love WP, I am having troubles with it. So I thought why not start up a new one and see if it's better here. But the truth is, I'm not too sure about Blogger either. I just don't like how it is connected to everyone else' blog! So we'll see how this pans out....

ETA: I'm finding Blogger SO MUCH easier to navagate and I LOVE the ease in posting photos and videos! WOOT! This is what I wanted to do with my WP blog but couldn't! No more having to use a third party in my photos! Yahoo! In the next few weeks, I will be trying to move my old blog onto here...this should be fun. (and when I say "fun", I mean, not really. at all.)

Monday, May 25, 2009

the duck and the devil

The Duck and the devil ~

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on
their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out
in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could
never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he
headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw
Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the
slingsho t fly, hit the duck square in the head and
killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile;
only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it
all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's
wash the dishes" But Sally said, "Grandma , Johnny told
me he wanted to help in the kitchen." Then she
whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did
the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted
to go fish ing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need
Sally to help make supper." Sally just smiled and
said, "Well that's all right because Johnny told me he
wanted to help" She whispered again, "Remember the
duck?" So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and
Sally's; he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came
to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said,
"Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the
window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love
you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you
would let Sally make a slave of you."

Thought for the day and every day thereafter:

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done…
and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face
(lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred,
anger, bitterness, etc.)…whatever it is …You need
to know that God was standing at the window and He saw
the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to
know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.

He's just wondering how long you will let the devil
make a slave of you. The great thing about God is
that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only
forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God's grace and
mercy that we are saved

When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!

he is getting SO BIG!!!

Kai keeps getting bigger! He keeps growing on me and it's exciting…and bittersweet. He's outgrowing his clothes, so I'll have to update his wardrobe soon. (I'm trying to hold off though, since it'll be summer and the clothes of choice will be shorts anyways!) He's getting taller, too. But not just in his physical appearance, he's getting OLDER. His personality is starting to blossom. He is such a delight!

Just a year ago at this time, he was struggling with his speech, having trouble with respect, refusing to potty train, and generally being difficult. *sigh* It was tough!

But now….

He has just grown so much. The other day, I spied him helping out a little sister of one of his friends. She wanted to know where her brother was (she's around 2 years old), so he put his arm around her shoulders and walked her over to him! Later, I see him with her on the playground, his hand in hers, as he takes her over to the slides. How gentle and sweet! It was so nice, and quite the surprise to see! Kai can seem to be such a "bully" at times (he pushes his brother, he takes toys from his sister, growls when he doesn't get his way…) that I worry that he's respectful and nice and caring to others. What a relief!

Last week, we got three pieces of Good News about him. The first one came from his Kindergarten teacher: lately, she has been preparing the class that after this school year ends, then comes summer, then they will return and go to Grade One!!! Kai is so excited! He keeps asking if school is over yet! His teacher confirmed for us that yes, Kai is indeed ready for Grade one!!! How wonderful! I had a feeling, but it was much nicer to have someone agree with us who matters more than just a parent's hope!

The second piece of good news comes from his Cardiologist, Dr. Hosking. (I love that man!) We had another apointment with him, with his usual Echocardiogram and ECG tests. He was weighed at 15.1kg (33.5 lbs) and measured at 105cm (3' 5.5") So he's gained a kilogram in half a year! Yay! (he's still so small, LOL!) The doctor told us that according to the Biopsy (catheterization surgery in April 2008) we have no new info, but there is some type of scar tissue on his heart. Or rather, it's a type of tissue that is formed before scar tissue is made. (there is obviously a term for it, but I forgot to write it down) There are three different ways this could've come about, the first one we were able to cross of immediately, the second reason is from an inflamation that occurred in the heart muscle that had healed itself, and the third is one that is still "iffy". Hosking is convinced it's from an acute event that caused Kai's heart to enlarge, one that wasn't big enough to warrent hospitalization, so much so that we may not have realized it happened, but effected his heart, which is why it reacted the way it did.

What he sees from the tests are that there is no change in the heart muscle. The numbers are identical to what they were in September when we saw him last! That is EXCELLENT news!!! There is no active inflamation, his enzymes are normal, the pressure in his lungs are normal. Everything is looking the same. So while Kai's heart hasn't gotten smaller, it hasn't gotten bigger either! Dr. Hosking is wondering if maybe Kai's heart, the pump, and squeeze and all those other terms he likes to use that go over my head, are just the way his heart is. The medications don't seem to be doing anything to the condition, and if that is the case, then why do we continue with them? So he is going to do it the "coward's way" (his term!) and instead of weaning Kai off his three medications, he is going to keep him at the same doseages and let him outgrow them. Seems ok to me. The Best news was when he told us that he doesn't need to see Kai for another YEAR!!! To me, that spoke of confidence, and it made me feel so good.

I am so happy that his heart is doing "Well." This is such a relief for me! As I mentioned before, my biggest worry was that Kai would collapse one day during gym class, and so I asked the doctor about that, to which he said that while we can't say he will never go into Heart Failure (a terribly scary word), things are looking well. That lifted my heart as well. I guess my worry is that something could happen to him suddenly, that he would or could die in an instant. My fears are silly because I know that the children that do pass suddenly like that, the parents were unaware of any exisiting heart conditions, whereas we are prepared for that in Kai. And it likely won't happen out of the blue either. Or one could hope. *biting lip* It's hard not to worry for your child's health. You want them to live forever, to grow, to change, to live life. You don't want to see them suffer, to grow frail, to struggle, or to die prematurely.

But what does it mean to "die before their time"? or "prematurely", really? If you think about it, the statement doesn't make a lot of sense. After all, the Lord God is the author of life. He created life, He breathed life into everything, He forsees and sustains life. He calls us Home when it is Right and Of Time. Not before. Everything is done perfectly in His time. So when we say that someone died before Their Time, that isn't possible. God knows the numbers of days we will spend on earth, therefore if our numbers are a lot shorter than we'd like this side of heaven, it is Good. But oh so hard.

*sigh* "Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting?…. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ!" i Cor 15:55 & 57

The Third thing that was Good News for Kai was from his Speech Pathologist, Dara. Last week, she stated that he is doing so well that we only need to come every OTHER week now! Woohoo!!! He is speaking well and trying harder. His teacher even said that one day, he was trying real hard to speak slower and articulate better. How wonderful! He loves going to speech, which is such a good thing to see! He even sees the TA in his classroom for some speech-related games, which he really enjoys too. (nice to know that he's not old enough to find it embarrassing yet! I remember having to get extra help for some subjects in grade 5. It just further made me feel like a weirdo. I knew I needed the help, but it didn't help socially, which I was already having troubles with. *sigh* such memories) She still finds it so Off The Mark that he would have Apraxia. She says he's just a bit delayed, and she is so confident that we won't need to see her this summer at all! Woo-ee!!!

(Anna tried to get a picture of Kai when she was over last weekend. The kids confiscated my camera…I didn't mind…until I found it broken. grr!!!! the buttons don't click to stay on or off. oh well, now I definitely need a new one!!!)

Kai has already decided that when he gets older, he is going to become a Police Officer. He wants to ride a motorcycle (or as Bryn calls them "sigh-coh sigh-cohs"!) and even fly a police helicopter! Very adventureous! We'll see if this dream continues as he grows!

He also announced one day to Anna that, "when I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and I'm going to marry you!" LOL! How absolutely adorable!!! Anna was horrified though! LOL If she's not interested, then there is always her little sister, Janaya, who is two years behind Kai and such a cutie!

(Anna riding on Kai's bike while he stands behind her on the training wheels!)

Kai is so wonderful! I love him dearly! He's getting So Big!!! A part of me isn't ready for it. I'm so unprepared. He's been so YOUNG for so long…so dependant with his speech and his attitude and confidence, but now he's growing. He's getting independant and brave. (he'll actually talk to strangers now!!!! …which is a good/bad thing! it's definitely better than ignoring or growling at them!!!) But I've lived with this for so long, it's hard to imagine it all fading away into the past. I'm not prepared! But I am happy. Relieved. At peace.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

is there a resemblance?

Guess the children:

Yes, yes, I know! The pics aren't exactly beside eachother, but I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet!!! Work with me here, people!!!

Can you tell them apart? Do they look like brothers? THe first one is of Bryn, taken June 2008, when he was 10 months old. The second one, of the super smiley boy, is of Rhys taken today at 11 months old! They are both wearing the outfit that their Father wore when he was a baby!!! I can't believe what excellent condition it is in!!! (poor babies, polyester is so unforgiving and unsoft.)

Here's the original picture: well, sortof. It's a picture of the original picture!

Hunny has such a longer head than our children. I swear sometimes they actually do look like him though! ;) Of course, he was only 6 months in his picture! (what a size difference, eh?) My cute bald babies!!!!!

crafty girl

Have you seen this?

It's a dress made entirely out of the tops from pop cans! A girl named Miranda made it for her prom dress to be unique. It's so cool! If you click on the link, you can read it, but I suggest you click the video to see it better. The tops are weaved together with a beautiful ribbon. I love it!!!

Friday, May 22, 2009


Isn't it funny (and sad) how the thoughts you had of yourself ended up being false years later? I thought I was "fat" as a teenager. Maybe not really Large, but not skinny or tiny, like my friends. I had a belly. I knew it. It made me jealous of those who didn't seem to have to worry about their weight or fitting into clothes or trying to hide their tummies. Yet, now, when I look through photos of when I was a teen, I don't see this "tummy" I had. I don't see myself as "fat". Actually, instead I see myself as a beautiful young woman…who was a good size.

I wasn't large after all!!! Ahhh… *sigh* Hindsight and all that.

Of course, I can say that now because I have gained a whole Load of weight since I was a teenager! Maybe if I lost a bunch I wouldn't feel so generous about old photos! But that's not the point! The point is… well…what is my point?

I've had four children since I left my teenhood. Yes, I've carried all that weight with me since then…plus some. So, in some ways I have a valid excuse. But man, I sure don't feel like I do! I see some women out there who pop out their babies and you'd never guess they carried anything in their tummies at all!!! (like this one woman who's children attend the school my kids go to. She has FIVE boys! FIVE!!! The oldest is in grade 7 and the youngest is 1 1/2 years old! And she is seriously gorgeous! Stunning! Long blonde hair, tiny figure, always wears sexy heels, dresses in style… sheesh! it's not a frickin' fashion show, lady, just school!!!! LOL *sigh* I want to be her.) There are a lot of excuses I can use. Four children in 7 years. A pre-disposed weight issue in the family on the female side of things. Health issues of my own. Blah blah blah.

The truth is I'm fat. For real fat. Not like the "fat" I was when I was 19 and weighed 125lbs. (oh to be that SMALL again!!!)

I came across this pamphlet at the doctor's office a few weeks ago from Heart & Stroke Foundation of Canada. It came with a long measuring tape, which totally excited me! Free stuff!!! It's intention was for you to determine if you were in the dangerous "Red Zone" with your girth for disease and such. Uhm…as if a large woman (such as myself) doesn't already know she's too fat and needs to lose weight! *roll eyes* (I would introduce it to my friends with the statement, "want to see how obese you are?" I'm so tactful!!!!)

BIIIIG Surprise, it turns out that I AM in that Red Zone. I was disappointed by how much though. My waist (from above my hip bones and all the way around over my belly button) is a total of 111cm. Harumph. The Red Zone begins at 74cm. Now, this Red Zone measuring tape doesn't take into account your age or height or other extenuating circumstances (such as post-pregnancy belly), but maybe that doesn't really matter. (It does have different Zones for Caucasion and Asian women though) All I know is that I need to lose appx 30cm from my waist to get OUT of that Danger Zone.


12 inches. That sounds like so much more than 30 centimetres, for some reason. Doesn't it sound like I'll just wittle away to nothing?

I know what I need to do and I even have lots of ideas on how to do it, but…I lack the motivation. Harumph. Why is that? Is that due to my health, such as my thyroid and sleeping issues? Or is it just laziness and that I've gotten myself into a habit of Not doing anything? Whatever the reason, I need to pick up one foot and slap it on down, and then pick up the next and…. you know.

I came across the KEY-UTEST bathing suit online last week. It's actually a picture I lifted from *innocent grin* and it's of Holly Madison. You may know that she used to be one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends {{{shudder}}} Well, it's of her in this cute bikini that I WANT!!!! Forget the girl, I"m interested in the suit!!!! (her thighs don't touch….that's not right.)

This is what I want:

Isn't it ADORABLE and plaid???? LOVES it!!!!

I feel silly posting this picture b/c it's of a "celebrity" in a bikini, but I really love the suit and it fits in with my FAT story!!! I need to lose weight. I don't know anything about how to do it properly or how much I need to lose, but I have ideas in mind. I now weigh 185lbs and would love to go down to 130. I think with my height of 5'3" that is a good weight. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. I don't know how long this will take me, but at my current rate of nothing, it's not looking like I'll be in that swimsuit this summer. Dangit!!!

BUT…. it's something I can dream and wish about. Maybe by this time next year….??? *sigh* Wouldn't that be great?

If you have any ideas on how to get my lazy self off this chair, let me know! (be gentle with your comments. I have the power to delete!!!) Some encouragement may help too…

ETA: her boobies are distracting, aren't they? I wish I could make 'em smaller or cover them up more. Sheesh! this is a family blog!!!!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mommy ~ Mom ~ Mother


Real Mothers don't eat quiche,
They don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
And get their answer when a little
Voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade…
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother….

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she
Shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!
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