Friday, November 5, 2010

when prayers get answered

Do you ever struggle when God answers you? I do and I feel silly for it. Okay, I only mostly feel silly when it finally occurs to me that I've been treading cautiously with Him and His promises. But I am incredibly suspicious. I'd like to say it's because I'm being Discerning, but I'm really just Doubtful. I pray for things, I lament about my wants, I cry over my wishes, and when He grants them I doubt His ability. And mine.

First I just don't want to believe it's true and that it's happened. Denial. Then as it sinks in, I start to have my own self doubts. Maybe I shouldn't have prayed this. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this is more like a Consequence than a Blessing. What have I done?

But tonight, as those words popped into my head, and tears started to sting my eyes (because I'm an emotional gnome), I read a post by KingdomMama that hit me. I can do All Things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

When God answers my prayers, it is a blessing, not a curse. When He gives me a gift, it is because He knows I can handle it. When He chooses to change our lives, it is because He sees the end result.

I don't have to disbelieve Him. or Myself. It's true that I can't do it on my own, but He never asked me to. And I am going to rejoice in His answering of prayer and ignore the voices that try to get me to focus on other things, like my fears. He has blessed me and He believes in me and that's all that matters.


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