Friday, September 16, 2011

12 weeks or so ago....

SO it's been a while. I have been busy, sorry, with one of the best things that have happened to me! My Baby Jellybean arrived! But let's back track....where did I leave you at??? Oh yes! My OB fired me!!! H'mm...

I was quite distressed and angry and frustrated and scared and shocked that my own OB would decide she no longer needed to see me. So much so that I vented to my Hypertension, Dr M. Yep. I tattled!!! And it felt good! It made me feel even better when my doctor was just as surprised about it. A week passed and when I saw her again, she told me that she wasn't comfortable with me not having an Obstetrician and offered to write a letter to Dr G. My awesome sister was was me and spoke up for me, saying how we had no confidence in Dr G and didn't want to see her! This was true for me and for my family, but I doubt I would've said anything! I would've hummed and hawed about seeing her again and begrudgingly gone back, all the while wishing I could be brave enough to speak the truth. But I don't want to hurt any feelings or make an inconvenience or be troublesome. (somehow I equate being honest with "overbearing") When Dr M confirmed that's what we wanted, I did manage to request that she refer an OB for me. That would mean seeing one at BC Women's, but that was okay. I figured I go there often enough as it is, so why not? It would also mean delivering there too, which was mixed for me. I had no problems with being there and having Baby Jellybean there, but I was concerned about making the drive while being in labor. Would I make it in time? :(

I was referred to Dr G, who actually didn't practice at BCW, (only delivered there) but had an office a few blocks away, and incidentally, was on vacation! So I saw a Dr. R instead! :) She was nice and checked me out, saying I wasn't dilated despite the many contractions I'd been having. (I'd been having CX since the beginning of May, after baby dropped, at 32.5w) My cervix was "closed but soft", not that I could remember what that meant! That was on Monday, June 6th. On Tuesday, I felt baby descend even further and I started having contractions that evening! I couldn't sleep through them because I kept paying attention to them! I was so paranoid about going into labor and making it to the hospital on time. Having an OB in Vancouver meant delivering there! It takes an hour (roughly) to get there! (well, only 25ms with no traffic!) I wondered if I made a right decision in requesting one from Dr M. I had a feeling I would go very swift!

So there I was, counting contractions and timing things and attempting sleep. They were coming every 3 minutes for 5 hours now. But they weren't painful. But they were consistent. So I woke up Hunny at 6am (June 8th) and I called my sister---except she wasn't answering her cell, go figure! We left at 7am anyways, and she met us at the hospital.

Of course, on the drive in, I noticed that the contractions were lessening. I had a bad feeling about that. :( Sure enough, there were no CX picked up on the NST (non-stress test) and I still wasn't dilated, and as soon as an OB came to see me an hour after I arrived, she discharged me. Phooey. We hung out at the hospital anyways. I had to wait on lab results (to check my liver and such for pre-e signs) and I had an appointment with Dr M. But we were really hoping the contractions would start up again. We didn't want to pay for parking ($3.50/1hr $7.50/3hr $15/day) just to return later that night. So we walked for a bit and had lunch (and even a little nap in the Admitting waiting room) but nothing happened. We left by around 2pm. I felt silly. And really really tired.

I should've realized it was False Labor with these signs: *non-painful contractions (they lasted for hours, but there weren't terribly painful) *the ability to eat (Hunny wanted to stop for a coffee on the way to the hospital, and I devoured some Timbits! That totally threw off my diabetes numbers too, teehee!)


(me at 37w)

The appointment with Dr M had me a bit paranoid though. She wanted me to ask Dr G (the new OB) about "timing of delivery", ie; being induced. Apparently thirty-eight weeks is a common time for stillbirth from hypertension and gestational diabetes. Yikes!

That Friday night (June 10) I started getting my intense pelvic pressure again. It was so bad that I'd gasp in pain sometimes! It felt like something pushing on my vag, which sounds slightly stupid because I was pregnant and having contractions (of course I'd feel pressure there!) but this was different. They weren't typical contractions. Just very painful. Intense intense pressure. That started at 7pm, but would stop a bit, then start up again. I'd been having them nightly for a while now, and sometimes I'd be in tears because it was so painful; it made me scared. Forget making it to BCW in time, I'd be having the baby in the loo!!!

At 3am, I woke to them again and freaked myself out that I didn't feel Jellybean moving. So I began to pray, and then she'd stretch and I'd rest again. At 5am, Saturday, June 11th, my 38th week, I got out of bed because the pressure and pain was so bad. It was so bad that I couldn't actually think straight. I paced, but was restless. At 5:15am, I woke up Hunny; I couldn't take it anymore! While he had a shower (which seemed incredibly long!) I tried to call Julie's cell (which was on vibrate, so she didn't hear it, go figure) I could barely leave a message though due to the pain, and couldn't call anyone else. When Hunny came out, he called his mom to come over. I was in tears because I just wanted to go to the hospital; it was all taking too long!

We left at 6am and arrived at 6:30am. Hunny dropped me off at Admitting so he could go find a parking spot, but I didn't think I could even get out of the vehicle and walk! But I did. Of course, the room was empty and I was beside myself. I couldn't talk anyways, really. I couldn't think straight. I could hardly walk. Someone did come though and began asking me dumb questions. My personal favourite was, "What brought you into Admitting today?" I looked at her. "Uhm...labor." "Okay. And are you having contractions... uhm... yeah, okay..." At that point, Hunny came in, which I was grateful for because I didn't have time or patience for this woman anymore! I didn't want to deal with anyone who couldn't get this baby from me! I was seriously in my own little world, albeit a very painful one! Of course, the nurse wants you to give a urine sample, get a hospital gown on and lay in a bed. Meanwhile I'm thinking, 'Woman! Can't you see I'm in labor? I don't have time for this!" I just wanted to be checked and have this baby! Put it this was so painful that I was actually crying out and yelling! I didn't care who heard! I couldn't stop anyways. I had never yelled with the others. Not to say that I labored silently with them (I"m not a Scientologist, lol) but I'm not loud nor do I yell in a regular situation. I tend to hold my breath and groan, I think. This yelling surprised me, but maybe "Involuntarily Screaming" is a better description.

When the nurse finally checked me (and let me remind you the pain was in my vag and perineum area so sitting or even laying down scared me. I wanted to stay where I was and hope for no pain!) I hear her say, "Okay, we are moving you right now!" So much for Admitting and Assessment! I was being wheeled into Labor and Delivery, with the nurse calling ahead that I was "9 or 10cm" and needed a room right away! I was writhing in pain by then and couldn't look at anyone. I actually brought a cloth with me that I had got wet with my water bottle and covered my eyes with. I'm not too sure why (even now) to be honest, and I must've looked pretty silly when I think about it, but it made me feel better. It was cool and I seriously couldn't concentrate or look at anyone!

I had several nurses come in and several doctors and I just didn't care! Even when Julie finally arrived, to be honest, I didn't care about that either! (sorry, Julie!) I wasn't interested in who was around me, I just wanted to know that I was being cared for. Just don't talk to me! I had one thought and goal! I didn't even flinch when a nurse put my IV in, and those are typically painful, (and all through the pregnancy I was really nervous about getting one done during my labor.) or when she messed up and had to do it again! (I was told that my swab came back negative for GBS by Dr. S. But a week later, another doctor said a urine sample said I was positive. So I had to have antibiotics. Phooey. I dreaded the idea for months.) I was pleasantly surprised. And it didn't hurt when a doctor wanted to check my progress either (and that's usually incredibly uncomfortable and painful as well. When you're in labor, you want the baby out of you, not have something put in!)

Of course, a doctor said I was only 8 or 9cm. Pfft! Why do they always ruin things? LOL I was given gas and air though. That helped a bit, but it makes me lightheaded. I was so determined to breathe through my contractions, be in control and calmed, but it didn't go over so well. :( The nurse kept saying "Okay, now deep breath out." I was so focused on breathing IN! I loved my nurse, Shannon. She kept telling me, "Do what you did last time. You can do it. Just like before." It made me feel like I really could do it. I was in so much pain that I couldn't even lay down properly (I wanted no pressure on my bottom) so I was on the edge of the bed, and every time I had another CX, I'd flail my arms about trying to find something to grab a hold of! (the nearest thing was the NST machine with the SHARPS container on top, which Julie thought I'd pull down!) Hunny mistakenly gave me his hand again too. I tried to be conscientious though and not squeeze too hard, but later he said he thought I'd break his fingers! Funny how you don't like you have Super Human Strength! I guess that's what Adrenaline does! I was offered an epidural when a doctor saw me (before the gas/air) and as much pain as I was in, I just didn't think I'd have enough time! Not when I considered that I'd have to wait for the anesthesiologist to arrive and they'd have to prep me still. But I was offered one, which was almost nice!

The biggest problem was that my waters hadn't broken. It was "bulging", I heard a doctor say, which sounds kinda gross. I had such pressure that I was convinced it wasn't helping, so I begged for them to break it! Two doctors were talking (an OB & pediatrician? Two OBs? And OB & GP? An OB and nurse? ?? I don't even know!) about what to do. I wasn't fully dilated yet (which I said, "Why not????" and everyone laughed at. But I was serious! I was desperate!) but I had labored 45ms, should they break the waters or wait? I thought for sure they said they were going to wait for 45 minutes, which freaked me out! I couldn't last another forty-five minutes! But Julie clarified for me that was the time I'd had already labored. I still begged them to break my waters. I thought that if they did maybe the baby would slip right out too!

So they did. And it was a relief of pressure. Phew! But the baby didn't come out. Phooey.

Guess who that OB was? When she came in, she said, "I know you! We just met!" but it took me a moment to recognize her. It was Dr R, the OB I just saw on Monday! She was in hospital scrubs not in office wear, which threw me off. But it made me happy to know who the doctor was. I don't have good luck with doctors, they all tend to leave and miss the birth of my children!

After a while, the doctors were saying how I was fully dilated (yay! about time!) cervix wasn't ready. Whatever that meant. I was confused. Also, the baby wasn't low enough. So I was told not to push yet. But I wanted to! Well, not really. I just wanted the baby out! I even said that too, "Get this baby out of me!", something I've never done before! I had such intense pressure from my vag to my bum. Not like I've ever had before. Finally, I did feel like pushing though. So I let Shannon know in my grunt-like words, "Pushing!" Followed a few moments later by, "Burning!" So she had to call for the doctors to return, since they stepped out of the room. (I guess they had other patients to check on) They actually made it on time too! Wow! It felt like she was stuck though, since she didn't come out as easy as the others did. I asked and the doctor said that she wasn't, but I didn't really believe her! They did mention using the vacuum to get her out though, but then suddenly she was! (that was after the doctor told me to PUSH with the next contraction instead of screaming! *blush* I had a hard time with the Involuntarily Screaming, okay? It was painful.) In the end, I did have some tearing, but all was good. She was here.

6lbs 11oz 19.5"
June 11, 2011 8:21am

And that is where I'm going to leave you. :) I'll tell you the rest of the details later.


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