20 Plus weeks

It's been 20 Plus weeks since I've sat here. Not here at this desk, typing at this keyboard, but here Here. It's been 20 Plus weeks since I've sat here connecting.

I know because the scan says so, and the email says so, and the calendar says so. 20 Plus weeks of illness, exhaustion, darkness, grasping, stress and fear. Of frustration, impatience, confusion, disappointment, and emptiness.

But they say I am halfway done now, and I can be assured in things, and I can relax as the rest is all downhill. But not downhill in a bad, too-fast-for-me race to the death, but downhill in an exciting ride, where you lean back in the bicycle, throw your hair into the wind, release your grip from the handlebars for just a moment and just ride, full of joy. Full of life.

I want the next 2o weeks to be full of Life and Living. And Joy.