Tuesday, August 20, 2013

What we need to know about modesty

I read this blog piece a few weeks ago and was so touched by it that it ran through my head a few times. I knew I wanted to put it up on my blog too, but I just didn't know what to say. How do I add to the words that were already written? How can I even attempt to make my words more when she's said it so well?

To say that it got me thinking is an understatement! The funny thing is that I had often thought these things myself yet still fell into the typical thought process we are fed. It's all our fault. We need to do more to protect ourselves. We are 'asking for it' if we aren't careful. But it's ridiculous and it needs to stop!

The author mentions the most common argument that Christians use in how we are taught to dress: that a woman ought to cover herself up lest she cause a man to stumble and fall. Then she mentions four ways that that line of thinking is incorrect. You really should read it! Highlighted here: it is legalistic, it objectifies women, it is spiritually weak, and it "paves the way for victim blaming and rape culture". I hadn't thought of those before, but wow.  She says that we are sending a message to boys that they are "untamable animals, subject to their bodies desires".


I have always felt that it was misleading the way we are teaching our girls. Yes, I do believe we should dress appropriately and that we shouldn't be showing off our bodies or attracting attention in a negative way. (I've been teaching Abi lately about how a girl can use her clothes to portray different stories. Certain clothes will give a certain thought to people. I tell her that the girl may be a great friend and be fun and not intend to give the message people see, but sadly her clothes speak for her, and we need to be aware of that as women.)  But (and it's a big one) why aren't we also teaching our boys to behave properly???  I see it all the time, and it's so common, and it starts way in infancy. When our boys start off with an easy out excuse: boys will be boys.

 I remember talking to my BFF when she was pregnant and she would get dumb remarks from people: "oh, you better hope it's a boy! a girl can come home pregnant!"  For one, what an idiotic thing to say! Two, why would I teach my boy to not be responsible if he did get his girlfriend pregnant? why would it be acceptable to just 'come home'? Three, why would my girl be coming home pregnant? ARGH! We both got irked by those type of comments!


This line of thinking is what gets us into the troubles we are having today with our youth and social media and the rape culture.  When boys will be boys and sexually assault and humiliate our girls. When images are shared amongst eachother with no thoughts of consequences and of anyone else.  We need to be teaching responsibility to ALL of our children. Proper etiquette. Caring for others. Standing up for what's right. Honoring God with our bodies.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Colossians 3:12 

**related reading: hurt heart,    she wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini


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