Monday, August 17, 2009

three weeks ago..

Sorry I've been a bit quiet lately. I pop in here every night, as a ritual, to check out my blogroll. But I haven't posted b/c my mind doesn't want me to. It's not that I don't have anything to say. I've got a list of things I want to say! I just don't have it in me.

My thyroid is "out" again. *sigh*

Three weeks ago, I was on a GOOD dose of my synthyroid meds. I was happy(er). I could handle things. I was doing Better. But then I got a phone call from the doctor's office. Turns out my doctor wants to see me. (oops, I'm not allowed to call him "my doctor". He's my friend's doctor, and since she "set me up" with him, it's still HER doctor. He just happens to be the same one I see, that's all! LOL) The results of my blood test were back and it turns out that my levels were too high and I needed to go down a bit.

Three weeks ago, I was doing well. Good. Better. Happier.

Now I'm grouchy, don't sleep, anxious, hormonal (just ask AF who won't pack up and leave!!!), aggitated, forgetful, and down-right Depressed. And the days are starting to feel worse. Today it took all I could from Staying OUT of bed. I got up once, ate breakfast, went back to bed, got up again, made lunch, and then decided that I'd better do something...but nothing too drastic that needed too much thinking (like driving far!) or I'd be back in bed. So I took the kids to the library! That was fun! Rhys enjoyed inch-worming his way across the carpet! (Carpet? What a luxury! We just have wood flooring in our house!) We left with 27 books an hour later... and when Abi walked out with her own pile of 10 (most chapter books, with the spine sticker label "J", signifying a Junior Novel, not a Children's anymore...but not quite a Young Adult's yet) a girl around her age said to her mother, "look how many books she has!" And her mother replied, "She must like to read!" I beamed. (to myself of course. They weren't looking at me.) I wanted to say airily, "oh, yes, all my children like to read! All the time!" *roll eyes* I only mean it in a proud way. Of course. Not in the mean-spirited bragging way it sounds.

I got my blood work done again today, and have made a followup apointment with The Doctor I See for Friday. I've got everything crossed (except my eyes b/c that makes me dizzy) that he'll see something is OFF when he sees the report. I've been dying to see him since day two of my new meds! My Old Doctor, she was of the opinion that it takes a good 6 weeks to see any results in medications. My hormones would beg to differ. Actually, all of me would!

So tomorrow, I've decided to self medicate. Which sounds dangerous and silly all at the same time. Self medicate? Is that even the right terminology? Whatever. I'm upping my dose myself. Back to the one that made me feel Better. Good. Happy. Coping. The funnier thing is that I've got a lot of people suggesting that I do just that! Shouldn't this be a concerning thing? Shouldn't we be avising others to wait for a Professional's opinion first? But then again, this is also from some people who offer me their perscription Tylenol with codeine meds when I'm in a bad pain!!! LOL I have such giving friends! *smile*

I just want to go back to the way I felt three weeks ago. That's all. Just a simple request.


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