Tuesday, February 24, 2015

getting used to the teenage years

I dropped Abi off at a birthday party....for a boy!!!! I know!  This feels just as strange for me!

I admit that I got the giggles when I heard of the invitation two weeks ago. Nervous ones, that is. And silly ones.  This is the first birthday party (that I can recall) where there were both boys and girls.  And this is definitely the first one where it was an invitation from a boy to his own party! This is different and it's going to take some getting used to.

I was considering that it would be much like a Youth Group event that she already goes to, which has both genders, but then I had to step back and reconsider. Especially after I heard that her friend's mom was making sure that there were other girls going to be there as well!  Oh yeah. Oops. I should be thinking of these things too! I just assumed that there would be though; I figured this guy invited all of the group of friends!  I guess I need to start thinking of these things and being more cautious.

It was only just over Christmastime that I found out that her group of friends included a boy!  He was one that signed her get-well card near the end of the year. (which I thought was sweet)  And it wasn't until a few weeks later that I found out that there were, in fact, two or three boys that were amung this group of girls!  This is new!  Abi isn't necessarily "girly girl" or exclusive in any way, but she's always only had girl friends and only hung around them and pretty much stayed away from the boys. I guess with three brothers she didn't feel the need to see them at school too!  And since Abi has never shown signs of being interested in boys in any way (which is unlike her mother, who was "boy crazy" starting in grade four, teehee) this was a bit of a surprise to her father and I. But eventually she has to talk to them!  I am teaching my kids that not only is a okay, but it also good, to be friends with both boys and girls. God wants us to work together, beside each other, have love for each other, encourage eachother, build each one up. No where does it say for us to be separate. After all, as these kids grow, they will have to learn to be around eachother in work, and eventually, if it's God's plan for them, to be married. So starting now is a good time! And, besides, we've always encouraged Kai in his friendship with Sarah and even let him invite her to his birthday parties in the past! This really shouldn't be any different!

But it feels like a whole new phase in life.

We arrived at this boy's house at the same time as her friend, and the mother asked me if I was going to go talk to his parents or not. I wasn't planning on doing that, but then felt that maybe I should, it was a good mom-thing to do, so we walked up to the door together. But then I really felt silly walking my eigth-grader to the door!  In the end, we didn't see any parents but other students, which is funny in itself too. I asked her friend what time it would be done (I always like to ask that at events, just to be clear) and his response was to smile nicely and shrug, responding, "ten, eleven or twelve; whenever is good for you!" hahaha. Abi's friend, Hannah,'s mom immediately responded, "we'll be here by 9!"

I arrived by 9:30pm. The kids had ran around outside for a while, played Truth or Dare (which has always been a dreadful game in my experience...and now Abi says she will never drink another ice cream float again), and were watching a movie. All good stuff!  I even had a moment to talk to the mom, who is a lot like me with five children. All the while, Abi and Logan  stood at the door, waiting for us, smiling.  I was impressed with him actually; he was very polite and got the door for us and thanked us for coming. And I was happy that he didn't look like some sixteen year old! (some of those Middle School boys look like they're in High School, you know what I mean?) Even if there is no "romantic" feelings between them (and, sheesh, they are only 13 and 14 years old!) I'm happy and comfortable with them being friends ad hanging out.

In fact, I've decided that if we are to be the type of family that has the friends of their teen children over, if we want to be the gathering place, we need to start that feeling now. So I'm having Abi invite her group of friends (boys and girls) over for board games and wii on Friday night!

It's an exciting and nerving new stage for us!


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