Killer Stairs

It's been two weeks now, so I think it's safe to say that I have survived an attack on my life. Or at least on the life of my backside. My stairs tried to take me out, but I came out okay. A bit sore, okay a lot sore, but I am mobile.  And that's saying something, considering how bad off I was last week.

I was just escorting the younger boys downstairs to the bathroom first thing in the morning, because, well, little bladders, and their father was in the bathroom upstairs having a shower. (yes, we are a two-bathroom home, no ensuites. Which really doesn't bother us, we make do, but apparently to a lot of people on HGTV home-hunter shows it can be a deal-breaker) At the bottom of our thirteen steps, it curves just a bit as you hit the landing at the front door. I thought I manouvered that corner just fine, but I guess in my sleepy stupor I managed to slip off one stair, and just when I thought I had corrected my stance, I plunked on my bottom across the last step. It seemed to happen in slow motion! And it was painful!  Right across my butt cheek and my tail bone.  I lay on that floor for a few minutes, unable to move, deciding if I could just stay there for the day. But I did pull myself together and climbed those steps again and other than feeling really pained, thought I was doing fine.

Until it hit me.  

It always hits you later. You know, after you've been laying on the couch for the past few hours, nursing your bruised bottom, and your bladder tells you to get up or your toddler tells you it's lunchtime, and you realize that your tailbone is more sore than it was earlier. I really had no idea how much work your tailbone actually did! Not only is it useful in getting you to sit down, but it is incredibly important in standing (which was something I struggled with) and it also aides you in pivoting. I had no idea!

Now I do.

I managed to hobble along that afternoon and pick up the kids from school (I don't recommend walking around in areas with small, busy children. I was so frightened that some kids would knock into me, causing more pain, at the school), but I ended the afternoon in tears. And the next day was even worse! I couldn't stand for longer than one minute before I was in tears and incredible pain!  I had to call my husband from the driveway to see if he could leave work and pick up the kids since I had barely made it to the van before I felt I could go no further.  It was horrible.

Despite the incredible amount of pain I was in, I still was hesitant on going to the doctor. Well, for one, mine was booked up for the month, and the clinic nearby was already booked for the day as well, so the alternative was to sit in the ER for the next three hours (or more) just to have an x-ray. And even then, I researched, the doctors couldn't really do anything for you anyways. If it was dislocated, they could relocate it for you, but if it was broken they could only advise that you rest and buy one of those old-people inflatable butt pillows from the pharmacy. It's not like you could put your bum into a cast. So instead, I found some old tylenol 3s with codeine in the back of our cupboard and took them. (shh!) And waited.

It wasn't an easy wait, but it was a manageable one. I was in less pain on Friday, but still found standing longer than five minutes tough. But that was better than my pain threshold of one minute the day earlier!  Funny thing though is that I found sitting to be easier on me. A few of my friends who have broken their tailbone have said that they couldn't sit, so I guess that meant that it likely wasn't a break. (I was also told that I'd "Know" if it was broken, so I'm going to have to take their word for it.)

After a week, I felt more mobile. I could pivot. I could stand. I could walk easier. Things were looking up.  

Except now, I found that sitting was more uncomfortable! Go figure.  

But it would seem that our stairs weren't satisfied with trying to take me out and it went after another victim! Sadly, it was Miss E!  She took a bit of a tumble near the bottom steps and smucked her nose on one of the stair treads. Poor girl. She howled and howled and her big sister rescued her and carried her up to me with a tiny bit of a bloody nose. Of course, noticing that made it worse for her, but I was happy that it was barely bleeding at all. So I thought she'd make it out of the deal just fine.

Until that evening.  When I saw the bridge of her nose all swollen up. The poor girl was almost unrecognizable! Now I know what she'd look like had she been born to a family with a strong Grecian nasal bridge! Nothing wrong with that feature, but it wasn't the look she was born with. It was sad to see her so swollen. Which increased my concern and had me texting my mom for advice (does she need to go to the ER?) and checking into Dr Google (how do you tell if your toddler broke her nose?), both of which said that as long as she is breathing okay, there isn't anything the doctor can do until the swelling has gone down. So we wait.

  {day one. poor girl! look at that swelling! it breaks my heart.}

The nice thing is that Eden didn't even notice! Her nose didn't even bother her at all. I even tried poking on the two black eyes she had the next day, but she didn't even flinch!

Of course, every one had to stop us at the school and ask what happened to her, and to share their stories with their toddlers (breaking your nose on the stairs is quite common apparently). And of course, the one day she was being difficult and not listening is the day that I have to grab her arm and drag her across the crosswalk at the school (she was trying to run away from me, which meant into traffic or to hide in the bushes, neither of which I was impressed with) and that the vice-principal is on crosswalk duty! He looks at her and asks me, "is she okay?"  I nod and reply, "oh yeah, she fell down the stairs!" and quickly usher my children to my van, hoping he doesn't think the black eyes and my strong grip on her are connected! Eek! Deep breath!

 {all fiesty as normal. Her nose doesn't hold her back! day two and her eyes are swollen and starting to get purple.}

But she's healing.  I did have to post a picture on FB though, since I knew many people at church were wondering but didn't want to ask...

 {look at that beautiful smile! day four and black eyes and yellowing nose, which is good since it's healing, but still looks nasty}

But really, she was looking better.

It's been two weeks for her as well, and all that is left is two small bruises under her eyes. But that is so much better than a swollen nasal bridge and two black and purple eyes!  



I find myself being extra cautious when I go down my stairs now though. I didn't realize it had a mean streak in it! Wow!